Never Easy
by notashamedtobe
Summary: I am getting kind of bored with the Leyton angst even though I am rooting for them. Watched the season finale of October Road and missed my Jake. So what if Jake came back just when Peyton never saw him coming like that other time she needed him.
1. She Who Still Haunts Me

_Hello all. This is my first and probably last OTH fic. I usually write GH fics but I was watching OTH and am getting annoyed at Lucas' squinty glare and then I saw October Road and missed my Jake and Peyton so I got inspired. Hope you enjoy. Oh and if anyone could tell what Jake wanted to do careerwise, it would really help. He's so hot, that I kind of am fuzzy about the details._

He stared at the newspaper article. He blinked in rapid succession a few times. _Lucas and Peyton didn't get married? They didn't get their happily ever after?_ The single thought plays over and over in his head, like a CD skipping. Peyton Sawyer definitely wasn't Lindsey somebody and she wasn't married to Lucas Scott. He swallowed, trying to clear his brain from the immense fog that had enveloped it.

He frowns and run his hands along the edge of the table as if to settle himself. To hold onto something real. Not what he thought he and Peyton had. God, he had been so stupid, so fucking foolish. He thought she would come back. That she would face whatever demons in Tree Hill and come back. But no, she had stayed. Stayed and faced more horrors in a single year than most face in their entire lives. But had he had balls to call her? To write a quick email or IM? No he punked out and emailed Lucas. Lucas, who was there for it all. He was sure that type of intense drama and circumstance would cement their future but he was wrong because now Lucas was marrying someone else who was not Peyton and he hated that he felt the stirrings of something in his heart. The stirrings and grumblings of hope.

He stood up and dropped the newspaper into the trash. He wished that he could forget her. Forget the sweet smell of vanilla and spice that reminded him of her. A perfect combination of opposites, that was Peyton in a nutshell. Who else could live and die for music yet had a weird yearning for an occasional New Kids on the Block? He could still remember the way her skin felt and the way she tasted after eating an ice cream sundae. He shakes his head. How could he forget her when twice a year, on her birthday and Christmas, she would send Jenny gifts? It amazed him that she never forgot. It amazed him even more that Jenny still remembered who she was. That was how important she had been, still was, to them both.

He sighs and makes his way back into the living room that was in quite a disarray. Boxes here and boxes there, half full with their belongings. He wishes he had taken his mother up on her offer of helping him pack, but he had been adamant. He sneaks a quick glance at the Tree Hill newspaper that had featured an article on Peyton and her new record label. His mother had been up a few weeks ago with old newspapers that he could use to pack. When he had seen her face, he could do nothing more than stay still and gape. He shakes his head, trying to clear away the cobwebs of their past. He needed to do this, he needed to close this chapter of their lives and turn the page to the next one. Who knew that it would lead him back to Tree Hill and Peyton?


	2. Showdown

Peyton shuffles papers on her desk, trying to blink back the tears that had been threatening to spill forth all day long. _How could the bastard propose to Lindsey with __**her**__ ring? _The ring she had been too afraid to gaze upon three years ago. The ring that she had found as she walked into their hotel room and had nearly swallowed her tongue. _He used her ring._ That single sentence was all she could see. Every time she read a fax or an email that single sentence managed to worm its way in.

She had been ignoring her cell phone for the past few days since they had gotten out of the library. To be stuck there was torture enough but she deeply regretted attacking Lindsey's father. She knew what it was to lose a parent; she had gone through it twice. So she became that Peyton, the one in his book and lied about the ring. She made it into a sweet fairytale so the other woman wouldn't know what a goddamn punk her fiancée was. She was burying herself in work so she could escape the insanity that is Lucas Scott. Mia called her constantly, updating her on her shows and the various artists she met. She was still skeeved out by Peyton's ex-boss and told Peyton she was a step away from being a saint for working for that asshole for so long.

She checked her email and youtube for any local talent. Now that her one and only star was off doing her thing, Peyton had to work her ass to make sure her label wasn't a one star wonder. This was what she loved and she had a few acts lined up for the next couple of weeks at Tric. She wanted to see if anyone or any band jumped out at her. She got up and grabbed some random demo CD and popped it in. She was pacing, listening to the words and the tempo of the music when he spoke.

"You won't answer my calls." Peyton slowly turned around to face him. He sighed and stared at her. "I don't want us to be like this."

Peyton rolled her eyes and laughed mirthlessly. "You don't want us to be like what Luke? You don't want us to be together? Or you don't want me to be pissed that you had the cojones to propose to another woman with the ring you had bought for me?! Is that what you don't want, you goddamn coward?"

He strode across the room and got in her face, his temper barely being reined in. "You said no Peyton. Don't be mad at me for finding…"

She shook her head and took a step back, "I said not now. Not now does not equal no I will not marry you. It meant not now like not that very moment. It meant let's establish ourselves first. It meant while you wrote your book. While I found my way in the music business. You just took it to be a no. So don't you come in here and start that bullshit again."

He fumed at her. Incensed that while he wanted to throttle her, he also wanted to grab her, as he did a few days ago, and kiss her. Kiss her and throw her on that overly crowded desk and let his hands and tongue do what they will. He bit his lip to keep himself in the here and now.

Peyton sighed and looked at him. For someone who was getting married in a couple of weeks, he looked miserable and for that she was glad. She swallowed and licked her lips. "I cannot believe that you used my ring. I cannot believe that you disrespected what we had and what you have with Lindsey by using my ring."

"Her ring." He spoke so softly that she barely heard him. "Her ring Peyton. And that's not how it went down and I am not even going to get into that with you."

"Well thanks for that, I mean I confess that I still love you, kiss you and you kiss me back Luke. You kissed me back and I know that there was still love there. That there still is. But you propose to another woman, so yeah, thanks for sparing me the details."

Lucas sighed and ran his hands through his short hair. "I came here because I don't want us to be this awkward with one another. Especially when Lindsey and I really want you at our wedding. She feels that you both came to an understanding during the whole library incident."

She glares at him and wished that this would be the one time looks could actually kill. "I lied. I conjured up some sort of fairytale bull to take away the sting of her fiancée using his ex's ring. I felt horrible about what I had said about her father and I made nice. That's all I did Luke. Now about your wedding, you can…" Someone knocks at her office door. "What?"

The door slowly opens and Peyton's eyes widen in utter surprise. "I heard that this was the place to come to if you wanted to become a rock God."

Peyton runs at launches herself into his arms and throws her arms around his neck, squeezing the life out of him, making sure he was real. She buries her head in the crook of his neck and breathes his scent in. She feels him stroking her back and she smiles. "Jake."

Peyton unwraps herself from his body, but he casually drapes an arm around her shoulder much to the frustration of Lucas, who could barely keep the snarl off his face. "Hey Jake." He looks at Peyton who has already dismissed him and he takes in a deep breath. He shakes his head in aggravation and turns his attention to Jake. "You going to be in Tree Hill for awhile?"

Jake glances at Peyton and it doesn't go unnoticed by the other man. "Yeah, me and Jenny are sticking around for a bit."

Peyton whips her head around to look at him, "Jenny's here too?"

Jake laughs, "Yeah, at my parents. She's like my Amex, I never go anywhere without her. She loved what you got her for Christmas by the way. A five year old with an I-pod already loaded with music. I was surprised that you dared to include some High School Musical stuff in there."

She sticks out her tongue at him, while wrapping an arm around his waist. "Zac Efron is hot."

Lucas clears his throat, completely uncomfortable by their easy camaraderie. Why couldn't he and Peyton have that? She and Jake shared a complicated history. "Umm, well if you're available I would love to invite you, and Jenny, of course, to my wedding."

Peyton stiffens and Jake feels it. "Sure Luke. We would love to. I'm bunking at my parents for the next week as I set up our apartment so you could send the invitation there." He looks at Peyton and smiles. "You going with anyone because me and Jen would love it of you would be our date."

Peyton smiles up at him, "I would love too."

Lucas nods and makes his way to the door, pausing to shake and give the one armed homie hug. "Thanks bro. I'll drop it off later or tomorrow. It's good to have you back."

The door closes behind him and he leans against it, wondering why he felt so uncomfortable about Jake's presence in Tree Hill. Jake releases Peyton and looks at her as she smiles at him. "You heard us?"

He nods and plops down on the empty couch. "I'm pretty sure the whole damn town heard you guys. That was a pretty tense situation I purposely interrupted. Gonna tell me about it?"

She shakes her head, "Not now. Why don't we get Jenny and get some ice cream so you can tell me why you're back in Tree Hill now when I need you? Always when I need you."

He gets up and stands directly in front of her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Not always when you needed me and for that I am so sorry Peyt." He drops his forehead on hers and she sighs, stroking his cheek with her free hand.

They break apart and she looks at him, "Well you're here now and that's what counts." She grabs her purse and they head out.


	3. Just the Facts

Peyton nibbles on her bottom lip as they make their way downstairs. She was so happy to see him but the memory of the last day they had seen one another starts to play in her head. They make their way to the parking lot and she turns to him when they reach her car first. "Which car do you want to take?"

Jake watches her for a moment, all too aware that she is starting to get uncomfortable, unsure of herself. That was always her greatest weakness; she never had enough faith in herself. "We should take mine. I have the booster seat in the back."

Peyton nods, fiddling with the strap of her bag. She walks beside him and laughs when she gazes upon his car. "Oh my God! You have a vintage mustang! What a bad ass Jenny has for a dad."

He rolls his eyes, "Picturing me in a minivan?" She nods and he continues, "Well almost but when I saw her, I had to have her. My dad and I restored the engine and she cost a pretty penny but she's the other woman in my life."

Peyton runs her hand along the smooth hood of the sleek black car. "You're such a sexy dad." The words flow easily from her mouth before she even realizes it. Her mouth drops opens as she blushes. "Well, I mean…you…"

Jake laughs. "Thanks. I hope so. Still got room in my heart for another special lady." He unlocks the door and opens it for Peyton, brushing his body barely against hers.

The slight touch sends a shiver down her spine and she wonders where the hell that came from. She just hugged him a few moments ago. And she was also wondering why his last comment got her nerves on edge. _Relax. It's just Jake. _But there was no just Jake, just like there was no just Lucas. She sits back against the plush leather and sighs. "What year is she?"

He turns the car on, the engine turning over easily. "69. She rocks, doesn't she?"

Peyton's nervousness is gone just as quickly as it came. "Yeah Jagielski, she rocks. What's her name?" Jake closes his mouth and turns out of the parking lot, staring straight ahead.  
Jake?"

He looks over at her sheepishly, "Jenny picked it, so please keep that in mind. She's the boss and I am her nothing but her lowly servant." Peyton raises an eyebrow quizzically and he blows out a breath. "Gabriella."

Peyton bursts out laughing. "As in _High School Musical_?" He nods and she starts to laugh even harder. "Wow, oh wow. So much for a bad ass."

He turns onto Sara Avenue and sneaks a quick glance at her, "As long as I am still sexy, who cares?"

Peyton bites her lip and smiles, "And that you are." He smiles and she smiles back. _That you always were Jake. _They drive in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before he turns onto his parents' block. She looks at him and takes a deep breath, preparing to ask that hung between them.

He speaks before she does, "Nikki is in jail. It seems our little suburb in Savannah was just too quiet for her and she hit up some biker bar and got herself in some sort of mess the sort of mess that got her 8 months of jail time and me sole custody of Jenny."

He parks in the driveway and turns off the car. They unbuckle their seatbelts and say nothing. Peyton starts to speak but stops and takes a deep breath. "Does Jenny know?"

He shakes his head. "She really hadn't been spending that much time with her when this was all going down. I just told her mommy had to go away again and take care of herself. She doesn't understand but she never really had that connection with Nikki anyhow." He pauses and looks at her. "Not like she had with you."

Peyton nods thoughtfully. "And how have you been dealing with this?"

Jake rubs a hand across his face and turns to her. "I went to see her once a few weeks ago. I told her I was moving back here and she finally realized that she never really wanted to be a mother. So she let Jenny go. She loved her enough in that single moment and let her go. I just received a call from my lawyer yesterday telling me that Nikki is giving up her parental rights."

"Oh…should I be happy? Are we happy about this?"

He looks at the girl he still thought of his little girl's mother_. The one that had always counted_. "Yeah I am, Peyton. It means that I can start my life here with Jenny with no problems and fears about ugly custody battles."

Peyton reaches across the seat and places her hand on his. "Then I am happy for you." She squeezes his hand reassuringly and at that moment the front door bursts open and Peyton loses her breath. "Jenny", she whispers. They exit the car and Jake scoops up the small girl in his arms.

Jenny looks at Peyton thoughtfully and Peyton suddenly realizes how much she had missed her. Jenny smiles shyly as Jake whispers in her ear. "I know Daddy. I know." He puts her down and jenny runs around the car and stands in front of Peyton, who kneels down to get a better look at her. "Hi Peyton." Then Jenny does what feels most natural; she throws her arms around Peyton.

Peyton lifts her off the ground and swings her around in her arms. She lets a few tears slide down her face. Jenny giggles and leans her head back to kiss Peyton on the cheek. "Thank you for the music. I love Hannah Montana best."

Peyton puts her down and sees his parents on the front porch. She waves to them and sees how weak and small Mr. Jagielski looked. "Hi Mr. and Mrs. Jagielski. How have you been?"

They smile at her and pass a few moments engaging in small talk. Jenny starts to tug on her shirt and Peyton looks at her. "Are you coming to my birthday?"

She looks at Jake who shrugs. She rolls her eyes and nods to the girl. "Of course. Where else would I possibly be?" They talk for a few more minutes until Jenny starts to yawn. Peyton ruffles her light brown ringlets and smiles. "Time for bed?"

Jenny nods and wipes her eyes sleepily. "Will you take me to get ice cream?"

"Sure babycakes. Tomorrow afternoon you got yourself a date. Maybe Daddy would be so kind to join us."

Jake nods and watches Jenny bound up the steps to his parents. "I won't be out late." They say their goodbyes to Peyton and head inside. Peyton walks back to the car and gets inside. Jake starts the car and speaks without looking at her. "He had a stroke a few months ago. So now you why coming home was so important."

She reaches over and kisses his cheek, trying to give him strength to draw from. "Yes I do. Hey you want to walk around town? See Brook's new store and…well, just walk?"

He nods and drives into the heart of Tree Hill.

**Clothes Over Bros Store - - - **

Brook stares at Lucas. "She wants me to do what? And in less than 4 weeks?" Brooke shakes her head and walks around Lucas. She moves behind the register and grabs a bottle of water from the mini-fridge. She takes a small sip and puts the bottle down on the counter. "Lucas, I can't."

Lucas sighs, "Come on Brook. I know you can do it. Look at the amazing job you did with Haley's dress out of a bedspread. If anyone…"

Brooke holds a hand up. "No Luke, that's not it. I can't do it." He just stares at her and she purses her lips. "I cannot make your fiancée's dress when said fiancée is not P. Sawyer. Get it?"

Lucas drops his elbows onto the counter and his head into his hands. "I get it."

Brooke rubs his back and continues, "Lindsey is great, Luke. I mean that but Peyton is my best friend and I cannot do that to her. If you want I'll…" She stops as said best friend walks into the store with someone behind her. "P. Sawyer, did you… Oh my God!! Jake Jagielski!!" Lucas tenses and turns around.

Brooke runs around the counter and embraces Jake. She lets him go and looks him up and down. "Someone looks good and it's someone other than me for a change."

Jake laughs and hugs Brooke again, swinging her off her feet. "Brooke I hope to God you never change." He puts her down and Brooke notices the tension between the three other people in the room. Jake glances at Lucas and nods. "Hey man, we meet again."

Lucas stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets. "That we do." He glances at the clock on the wall and starts to make his way out of the store. "I have to go. Brooke, I'll tell Lindsey about the dress."

Peyton's ears pick that up and she looks at Brooke who shrugs with a too bright smile on her face. "Dress?"

Brooke takes Lucas' arm. "I'll walk you to the door."

Jake takes his cue from Lucas and goes over to kiss Peyton on the cheek. "I have to go too. It's getting late and I don't want Jenny to tire out my parents too much. We'll see you tomorrow. 2 o'clock sound good?"

Peyton nods. "I'll meet you guys at the ice cream shop on the pier, Mr. Murphy's."

Lucas stops to listen to them make a date. _A fucking date_. Brooke notices his ever growing disdain and practically shoves him out of the store. "Tell Linds I said hi." He nods and leaves. Jake kisses her on the cheek also and heads in the other direction.

Brook lets the door close and heads back to the cash wrap, where Peyton was sitting on one of the bar stools at the end. Brooke grabs her water bottle and sits next to her. "Jake?"

Peyton smiles, "It seems everyone had to come back to Tree Hill. Now about _that_ dress?"

Brooke takes a swig of water from her bottle and sets it down. "Lindsey wanted me to make her wedding dress, but before your head explodes, I told Lucas no. I could never do that to you P. Sawyer. I know how hard this has been and I couldn't add to that pain."

The blonde's shoulders slump as she leans on the counter in the same fashion the other blonde had. "Thanks. It's just…he came to see me and Brooke it was so awful."

Brooke rubs her arm. "I know sweetie."

Peyton looks at her best friend, "It was already ugly and then it started escalating when Jake comes in and, well, it was just a wow moment."

Brooke laughs. "I can imagine. You're in the same room with a guy, who is still hot by the way, that you proposed to and were engaged to for what, half a night? And then there's the other guy who proposed to you, yet you my friend, remain single. You're destined to become an ugly old spinster with at least 15 cats."

Peyton laughs, "At least."

He speaks so quietly that at first neither woman thought he had truly spoken. "You proposed to Jake?" Brooke's mouth drops open and Peyton gasps turning to face Lucas.

_Okay a cliffhanger until next weekend when I am able to update again. And again, if anyone could tell me what Jake wanted to do with his life, it would be helpful. Thanks_.


	4. So Many Different Truths

"Lucas…" Peyton stands and is at a loss for words. She steals a quick glance at Brooke who seems just as speechless. "I, you…it was…" She falters and he takes a step closer and pauses to look at Brooke.

Brooke nods and shrugs at Peyton, "Sorry but I do believe this is my cue to bounce." She hugs her friend and rubs her bare arms in reassurance. She leans in to whisper in her ear, "I'll always be here when you need me." 

Peyton nods and watches as Brooke leave the store. She hugs herself and goes to lock the front door. She needs these extra few moments to gather her thoughts. She had never told Lucas about what had happened in Savannah. That was her business and hers alone. Of course Brooke knew, but she was her best friend. She takes a deep breath and turns around to find Lucas sitting on one of the couches, head in his hands. "Luke?"

He looks at her at her and she recoils from the anger in his eyes. He had never looked at her that way before. He rubs his face and stands, nodding his head and mumbling to himself. He stops and looks at her. "You said no, wait, my bad, not now, to me but _proposed_ to Jake? Proposed? And never, after we got together, did you think that might be a fact you might want to share with me?"

"I know how that might be upsetting, but it was different Lucas. So very different from us. I had missed him so much and then I got shot and things took on a different perspective. I wanted some sense of normalcy. Some connection with someone. Wait, that sounds awful, like I was just trying to use him and that was so not the case." Peyton stops and grabs a random shirt and starts refolding it. She stops and looks at Lucas. "I loved him and Jenny too, and they were my family. I just wanted them to always be my family."

Lucas just glares at her. "He said yes?"

She nods and licks her lips. "But then as we were sleeping, 'I said I love you Lucas' or something like that and he asked and I had to tell him. I had to tell him that I told you I loved you in the library after I had been shot. I tried explaining that it was just a near death moment but he was afraid. Afraid that you were who was really, truly in my heart. He loved me enough to set me free." Peyton stops as if realizing something for the first time. "That's how much he loved me. Loved me enough to hope that I would come back but I of course screwed that up. I started thinking about what he said. What if I did love you and not him? What if you were the one and then where would that leave Jake? That wouldn't be fair to him or God, Jenny. I didn't want her to get caught up in the mess that was my life. They both deserved so much more than that; especially after all they had been through. Then all those other…" Peyton bites her lower lip and Lucas takes a step forward because he knows what happened next. What could have happened. Peyton shakes her head and holds up a hand to hold him off. "Then all those other things happened and well, you were there for me. I knew then I loved you and he had been right." _Or had he?_ Where did that come from?

Lucas stares at her and closes the distance between them, gathering her in his arms, "It's okay. That's all in the past." He leans back to look at her tear-soaked eyes and tilts his head, his lips just hovering above hers. "Peyton…"

Her lips part and she blinks, realizing where they were. Who they were now and refuses to get caught up in the past. She wedges her hands between their bodies and pushes him off. "I know, but I think that you should go."

He shakes his head, some of his anger edging back into his voice. "How could you say no to me when you could ask him?"

"I never said no. I was younger and so much hadn't happened yet when I asked Jake, Luke. Our love was pure and still somewhat innocent. I still had some of my baby fat on me, ya know? But what happened with my so called psycho bro changed me, made me more cynical and afraid. God, so fucking afraid and when you asked, I was finally in a place where I wasn't jumping at shadows anymore. At a place where I was finding my footing and my place in things and in the great cosmic universe. And us? Us was the one thing I was sure about. We were both trying to make our dreams happen. You with writing and me with music. I thought we were good. Good enough that we didn't have to rush or prove anything, but I was wrong. I said not now and you left without a goodbye or a goddamn note. That was you giving up on us. Not the other way around."

Lucas rubs away the tears that had begun staining his cheeks. "I thought that you didn't want me. Didn't want us. That you didn't believe in me anymore. That you didn't think that I would amount to anything more than a college basketball coach."

Peyton takes a step closer to him and raises a hand to his cheek to slowly stroke it. The gesture was so sweet that it shocks them both. Her hand falls quickly and when she speaks all the emotion she is feeling makes her voice hoarse. "Then I would have been a coach's wife or a writer's muse, it made no difference Luke. All I wanted was you. You decided for us to end." She walks around him and unlocks the door. She opens it and speaks without looking at him, "Go home Lucas. Go home to your fiancée and let us end, for good."

He manages to make his feet move but his heart was screaming for him to stop. Screaming for him to grab her and make her realize that he had been an ass and let him fix this, but he doesn't listen. He stops by her and she finally looks at him and he knows that she is trying not to break down. That she was trying to be strong. God, he loves that about her. He starts to move past her but stops to look at her once more. "What if I don't?"

She sighs and considers, "Then you shouldn't have asked another woman to marry you. Get out." 

She closes the door after him and locks it. She flicks off the lights and collapses on the couch, finally releasing what she had been holding back. And through her tears and what ifs, she asks herself, had she given up on her and Jake just like Lucas did on them? She sniffles and wipes her eyes and gets up. She wonders if she didn't fight hard enough to convince Jake that he was who she loved. Did she give up just like Lucas had? She grabs her purse and rummages through it for her spare key. What did it matter when Jake had apparently moved on with his life? A life that happily didn't include her. She opens the door and closes it behind her, making sure to lock and heads home, more confused than ever about both men and what she could have done different.


	5. If Only

_Sorry it's taken so long for me to update but the past few weekends I have been having allergic reactions to dogs, peanuts, etc and have not been at work. But I am back because I miss OTH and October Road and the hotness that is Jake/Nick/Bryan. I hate Haley by the way and totally think Nathan deserves someone better even though he is an idiot at times. But her self-righteous, holier than thou, can do no wrong attitude pisses me off. So be warned that I won't be nice to her in this fic. Sorry to her fans but she irks me._

Peyton opens her eyes against the glare of sunlight trying so hard to sneak in through her blinds. "Ughhh…" It's all she can manage as she nestles deeper under the covers as Brooke knocks, wait, pounds on her bedroom door. "Go away. Far, far away."

Brooke nudges the door open and offers a mug of hot steaming coffee as a consolation prize for awakening Peyton. "Oh come on. You had to know there was no way in hell I was just going to go about my day after I left the two of you alone in my store." She sits on the edge of the bed as Peyton rolls her eyes and throws off the covers. She struggles to sit up against her headboard and glares at Brooke. "It has vanilla in it."

Peyton reaches for the mug and takes a tentative sip, careful not to burn her tongue. She sighs and Brooke slides in the bed, under the covers, next to her. Peyton drops her head onto her shoulder and speaks. "It went as well as expected. He flipped because I never told him. He also flipped because I had asked Jake and said not now to him. And in the mix of all the emotional turbulence, there was a moment where I swear he was going to kiss me. And I would have kissed him back."

She picks her head up and looks at her best friend. "And you would have hated yourself P. Sawyer and would have just gotten back on the evil merry-go-round of love that is Lucas Scott."

Peyton laughs and takes another sip and casually adds, "What if I let Jake and Jenny go as easily as Lucas did me?"

Brooke's eyes widen at that comment. "I, um, well damn, did you?"

Peyton sets the mug down on her nightstand and gets out of bed, restless, pacing. "I have no idea, but as I was trying to explain to Lucas where my marriage proposal to Jake had come from, that thought popped into my head and now it's stuck. Stuck up there with the picture of him driving that sexy ass mustang, hair billowing…"

Brooke snickers. "Billowing?"

Peyton gives her a pointed look and laughs, "If you had seen it, you too would say billowing. Seriously Brooke, he let me go out of fear that I loved Lucas, yeah I get that, but there was more. He let me go because he loved me that damn much and I don't think I fully understood that until last night when I was having my little showdown with Lucas." She plops back onto the bed and onto Brooke's lap, where the brunette strokes her curly mass of hair. "What am I doing?"

Brooke wiggles her nose in thought and carefully speaks, "You're trying to get over Lucas and maybe with Jake back in town, you are realizing that it's possible and that scares you. You've been moping and yearning for Luke for, what 3, possibly 4 years? Jake comes back into the picture on the eve of Lucas marrying someone who isn't you and you have this glimpse of what life might be without Lucas and that yearning and you're freaking."

Peyton sits up and stares openmouthed at her best friend who shrugs. Brooke slips out of bed and makes her way to the door, pausing to look over her shoulder, "Or I have been watching too much Dr. Phil and am talking out of my ass. Whichever."

Peyton throws a pillow at the closing door and makes her way to her bathroom to meet the day and her ice cream date at 2.

**The Piers - - - **

Peyton gets to Mr. Murphy's Ice Cream Shoppe a few minutes before 2 and swears Mr. Murphy is either Santa or a very close relative. She picks a table outside so she can watch Jake and Jenny approach. She spots them down the pier and what a pretty picture they were. Her pigtails swayed as she bounced while talking a mile a minute. She was so big and Peyton felt a pang of disappointment/guilt that she hadn't seen her in 4 years. That she missed out on so many of her firsts. She waves them over and Jenny practically flies into her arms. "Hey pretty girl."

"Hi Peyton." She kisses her cheek and then gets into a chair of her own as Jake sits across from Peyton. He seemed tense and Peyton watched him relax a little as a cute 4 year old approaches, dragging his not so thrilled mother along. "Hey Jamie." Peyton glances at Haley and offers her a curt nod.

"Hey Peyton. I…oh my God, Jake! Jake? You're here?" Jake rises and gives Haley a hug and Haley turns to Jenny who is smiling shyly. "You're little tiny Jenny? Oh god, you're so big." They exchange pleasantries for a few minutes as Peyton goes inside with the kids to order some ice cream. Mr. Murphy lets them know that a waitress will bring their order out to them. They go back outside and Haley smiles brightly at Jamie. "Sweetie, we need to get going."

Jamie shakes his head. "Mom. I just ordered a banana split to share with Jenny." He sneaks a timid glance her way and Peyton sees that all too familiar Scott look on his face.

Haley sighs that insufferable sigh of hers and nods. "I need to drop Jamie off at Brooke's store and we're late and I need to get back to grading and finding a nanny and well, Jake, you know how it goes."

Jake nods and smiles, "Yeah but you got Nathan to help…" He stops mid-sentence when the smile falls from Haley's face. He looks at Peyton for assistance but she just shrugs. "Look, why don't you leave Jamie with us? We'll enjoy our ice cream and maybe head to the park for a few. You can come pick up Jamie from my parents later on." Haley considers and looks at her son, who was quite obviously smitten with Jenny. She hated how Nathan being out of the house was affecting him. She nods and takes out her PDA. "Sure, that would be great. Thanks a lot guys."

Peyton shrugs again, "It was Jake's idea." Haley bites her tongue and gets all the necessary information from Jake. She goes to kneel by Jamie and kisses his cheeks.

He hugs her and she rises. "Be good baby. I'll pick you up before dinner." She turns to Peyton and offers her a small smile, "Thanks again. I'll call Brooke and let her know. Jake it was great seeing you again and I'll see you later. Bye guys. Have fun."

They watch her walk away and before Peyton could ask what was wrong and before he could ask what the deal was with her and Haley, the ice cream arrives.

**Jake's parents' house - - -**

The sun was setting as Peyton and Jake sat on the porch swing. "I love these things. They were made for moments like this." She yawns and Jake looks at her. "Okay whatever daddy of the year. Who knew that an hour at the playground could make you so sore? God, I am so out of shape."

Jake tilts his head in her direction and looks her up and down. "Looks good to me." He leans his head back and enjoys the gentle motion. "You going to tell me what's up with you and Haley? You barely spoke to her when she came to get Jamie. Or at the pier earlier."

Peyton takes her cue from him and leans back. "Let's just say that we have different ideas about certain things."

"Like Lucas marrying Lindsey?" She stiffens but doesn't answer. "And what's the deal with her and Nathan?"

"That's where we have different ideas. Quick version. They hire a stalker Nathan obsessed nanny and somehow this is Nathan's fault. Well it kind of is because he never tells Haley how Fatal Attraction this chick is. They have a huge falling out which leads to her kicking him out. He tries talking to her and another argument ensues because he didn't tell her that said nanny kissed him. Haley feels betrayed, blah blah and little Jamie falls into the pool, nearly drowns and instead of that opening Haley's eyes about the importance of family, she tells him, right in front of Jamie that she wants a divorce. So now Nathan is bunking with Lucas and Jamie is a mess. Today is the happiest I have seen him the past few days. But when I tried talking to Haley, she got all defensive and told me to butt out in a not so nice way. Said I was trying to help Nathan to avoid dealing with my Lucas issues and that it was my fault because I said no. That the things we had gone through were in the past and didn't make for love everlasting. Too bad for me. I told her to fuck off and left."

He opens one eye and sees that she is sitting stick straight. "Lean back Peyton. You were trying to help and she tried to take her off the table and put you on it instead. You rose to her bait and you're where you're at because of it. You'll make up." He closes his eyes again and sighs, "My dad needs to have more surgery."

Peyton places a hand on his thigh and squeezes, "Oh Jake, I'm sorry. Is that why you were down earlier? I wanted to ask but we were with the kids. When?"

"The day after Jenny's birthday party. She was so excited when Jamie said he would come. My baby turns 6 on Saturday and my father goes in on Sunday."

"I think he was more excited that she asked him to come. It's good for both of them." She scoots closer to him and he lays his head on her shoulder. "Your dad is a fighter. It's where you got that spirit from. He's around for the long haul." They stay silent for a few moments until Peyton speaks again. "I really love this swing. It's so intricately done. Such craftsmanship that you usually don't see on these."

"You like?" She says yes and he rushes on, "I made it. Well not the engine and mechanical part, but the overall design. That's what I do. Well not swings, this was my parents' anniversary present. But I build furniture."

She sits up and his head snaps to the side, "Sorry. Seriously? Since when? I mean when we…" Her voice trails off and he smiles.

"After you left, I needed something to do to occupy the time, the nights when Jenny was asleep and you were all I could think about. Since I had that job doing construction, there were always scraps around. I wanted to make Jenny a dollhouse for her first birthday, but the ones in the store were trash. Not built to last. So it took a couple of months and one day I had it outside, drying off the dark stain I put on it. This couple happens to be passing by and the woman fell in love with it. She said it was classic and reminded her of the one her grandmother had gotten her but more modern. She asked how much and after hounding me for the better part of three days, I agreed to make her one. She went back to NY with her husband when their vacation was done. The one I made her took a few weeks, seeing as I was a pro by then. Shipped it to her and made some nice pocket change. I happened to include some furniture to go along with it and a friend of hers wanted me to build her a life-size version of the dining room table I had built. Told her see was crazy, but her rich Park Ave friend was insistent and paid me 10 grand plus expenses. Then another friend wanted a chair and so on and so on. I got written up in _Southern Living_ a few months back and some of my stuff has been in _Architectural Digest_. It's been a bit crazy. I decided that I could do it here instead of in Savannah."

Peyton just gaped at him. "I am at a total loss for words. You were featured in magazines. Your stuff is in people's houses and you're only now mentioning it. Wow Jake, that's great, really great."

He nods and listens as his parents turn on the radio. _Unchained Melody_ seeps out through the open living room window; Jake stands and holds out his hand, "Dance with me."

It wasn't a question and she knew it. She stood and places her hand in his, He pulls her to him and it amazes him that she still fits so perfectly against him. They dance and each gets lost in their own thoughts. Thoughts about how this could have been their lives if she had stayed. If she had only stayed.

So lost in their private thoughts, they never hear Lucas approach. The song ends and Jake takes a small step back, but doesn't relinquish his hold on her. He tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear and stares into her eyes, "Peyt…"

She smiles and then it falters as Lucas steps onto the porch. "Luke."

_Where can I find transcripts of the episodes? I need the some of the almost wedding episode for another chapter. Thanks for your reviews, Kristy_


	6. Miserably Ever After

She smiles and then it falters as Lucas steps onto the porch. "Luke."

Lucas glares at them both. As if their dancing were to purposely hurt him. He knew it was childish and stupid, but his heart and mind were at different playing fields as of late. One could not count on the other for the sense he used to have. He looks at Jake, who steps to the side of Peyton but doesn't release her hand. _His hand. His Peyton_. It's all that goes through his mind and he knows it's wrong. Just as wrong for him to still want and love Peyton when he was marrying Lindsey. "Hey."

Jake nods and doesn't know if he should be pissed or grateful for the interruption. He was about to confess his feelings or love and misery for the better part of 5 years to Peyton and probably make an ass of himself, but he didn't care at that moment. Her in his arms felt so right, so perfect, that he had to tell her but Lucas arrived and the moment was swept away with the slight breeze of the night. "Lucas, what's up?"

Lucas steps forward, arm extended with the wedding invitation. "Just wanted to stop by and drop this off. Was going to just drop it in your mailbox but I saw the lights and you guys and well, here I am." He looks pointedly at Peyton as if she were in the wrong somehow. "Sorry I interrupted." The sarcasm is evident in his voice making Peyton feel guilty for doing nothing wrong.

Jake feels her starting to squirm and wants to punch Lucas in his pretty surfer dude face. _The guy had balls_. Jake would give him that. Jake releases her hand and takes the invitation out of Lucas' hand. "Thanks man. We look forward to the festivities, but I think you better leave now."

Lucas glares at him as Jake steps in front of Peyton, as if to shield her. "Why is that? Want to get back to your dance?"

Jake smiles and shrugs, "That would be nice, but the real reason is you're being an ass right about now. You're marrying someone else remember?"

Peyton's mouth opens as her hand flies to it. She can feel the anger vibrating off of Jake and places her hand on his shoulder. "It's okay.'

Jake snorts and shakes his head. "It's not. You know it's not and he sure as hell knows it's not."

Lucas steps closer and stuffs his hands in his pockets about to say something but just turns around and walks away. Jake takes in a deep breath and turns to look at Peyton. "I'll drive you home." His voice sounds cold and his whole demeanor changes.

Peyton nods and goes inside to grab her bag. She spots a sleeping Jenny on the couch and kisses the top of her head. Jake watches her from the doorway and they lock eyes before he turns and heads to his car.

She says her goodbyes to his parents and makes her way to his car. He's already inside and when she gets in, he doesn't say a word. They drive in silence and once he pulls up in front of her building, she turns to him, heat blazing in her eyes. "What the hell is your problem Jagielski?"

He cuts off the engine and turns to her. "My problem? What the hell is yours?"

She runs her hand through her hair and wrinkles her nose in frustration. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean? We had a great day. Why are you letting that thing with Lucas ruin it?"

He laughs mirthlessly and shakes his head. "No, I didn't. You did. You always let him ruin it or whatever. You know what? Never mind. You're right we had a great time and we'll see you Saturday. Good night." His casual dismissal infuriates her even more.

"I have no idea what crawled up your ass but I truly hope you manage to sleep with it lodged up there tonight. Good night," She opens the door and slams it shut and fumbles for her keys in her purse. She never hears him come up behind her. He grabs her and whirls her around. She is startled and starts to speak, but she is cut off. Cut off by his mouth assaulting her. Her purse falls out of her hands and crashes to the floor. Her arms entwine themselves around his neck as their tongues clash and re-familiarize themselves. She moans and he abruptly stops and takes a step back.

"I'm sorry. That was wrong. I need…" He picks up her bag and hands it to a shocked Peyton and walks away.

She manages to get her bearings and charges after him. She grabs him and turns him to face her. "What was that and…? What was that?"

Jake bites his lip and pauses as if trying to find the words. "You let him get to you on my parents porch. You let him do that. Never mind that he's marrying someone else. And why is he marrying someone else? Why aren't the two of you married by now? What happened?"

She hugs herself and stares at him. "What does it matter? We're not. That's it."

He explodes, arms flailing in annoyance. "What does it matter? What does it matter?" She flinches and he just continues, "I let you go. Let you go so you could find your happily ever after. Fuck what I wanted. Fuck that Jenny loved you so much that she cried for weeks after you left. And me? I couldn't sleep. Couldn't eat and for what? I could barely function. All so you could be happy and Peyton, guess what? You're not. Not at all."

Tears sprung into her eyes and they are from anger. "Happily ever after? I went home so confused and then one of the worst years of my life happened. My love life kind of took a detour. Let me go? You practically pushed me out the door Jake. Then I get back and all those things happen and he was there and then after high school he wasn't and there was no happily ever after for me."

They stand there breathing heavy, trying to figure out what had just happened. He runs his hands over his face and walks away. She lets him.


	7. Confessions

Peyton stares wordlessly at the retreating figure of Jake Jagielski. She watches him get in his car, stare at her from the driver's seat, turn the car on and drive away. She stares as the car gets smaller and smaller until it's gone and still she stares. Just stands there and stares. She doesn't know how long she stands there and when she sees the approaching headlights, she blinks because she is sure it's just a hallucination, but the lights get brighter and brighter. The car stops and he steps out.

At first, they just stare at each other. They couldn't find the words to say. The words that needed to be said. They just stared and somehow hope, pray that the other would feel what they were feeling at the moment. He closes the door and walks towards her, stopping about 4 feet away. Close but not too close. Still she could still feel him. Feel his hands on her. Feel his tongue coax her mouth open. She could still feel him as she watched him drive away. Four feet was nothing.

She finally opens her mouth, "I left you that morning, sick to my stomach. Afraid you were right. And because if you were I would have wound up hurting you and Jenny and I couldn't live with that. I loved you guys too much for that. I didn't think I was coming back to Tree Hill to find my happily ever after but to figure out if you were right. Yeah I had feelings for him, but was I in love with him and not you? Then we got tighter and he was with Brooke and I was trying to forget you. Trying to forget Jenny because it was so hard. So fucking hard. Then life happened and yeah, I fell back in love with Lucas. It happened and I don't regret it. Not then and not now, but after that psycho and other stuff, we finally seemed to get it right. We were on the same page and I figured you knew me better than I knew myself because you knew that I loved him. But you know what? I'm not sure if I was in love with him when I left you. I fell back into it again and we had a short-lived happily ever after. Then he proposed and I said not now. It was too soon. I was just getting started in music and he was finishing his book. Somehow my prince took that as a no and poof, he was a frog again and hopped his way out of my life." She pauses and wipes away the tears that were flowing down her face. He says nothing and continues to stare at her. She sniffles and continues, "So for the past 4 years I have been living in some sort of fog. Not sure of myself. Not sure of any of my choices. Then I come back to Tree Hill and Luke's getting married and then you're here. You, the guy I proposed to, the family I wanted and the happily ever after I let go. And now? Now I am more confused than I have ever been because I know I still love Lucas but seeing you, being with you just let me know that I still have feelings for you."

He steps closer to her and when she feels his hand stroke her cheek, she leans into his open palm. He cups her face in both his hands and lowers his lips to hers in a soft kiss. A kiss that spoke truths neither one of them was prepared to deal with on this warm spring night filled with the faint scent of jasmine. They break apart and he rubs her bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. He kisses her forehead and takes a step back.

"I have tried forgetting you for the past 5 years. Since you stepped off my porch and into Lucas' waiting arms. Wait, don't. Let me finish. I forced myself not to rush back to Tree Hill after everything went down. I didn't think you would want me here. I thought I would be the odd man out and Jenny finally stopped calling for you night after night. I thought it would be selfish for me to run back here and try to be your Prince Charming, knight in shining armor, whatever. I figured Luke had that all worked out and there would be nothing for me to do for you except look foolish. So I let go a little more. Focused on my woodwork. Focused on Jenny and doing right by her, but you were always there. Sometimes I would think that this was the day I finally stopped loving Peyton Sawyer and a scent, a sound would remind me of you and I knew that hadn't. That no matter how much I tried or how many women I used to erase you, you wouldn't go away. So I tried to be happy knowing that in letting you go, you found happiness." He sighs and runs a hand through his hair and offers her a small smile. "I have tried letting you go for the past 5 years and seeing you in that office made me realize I did a piss poor job of it. So for right now? Right now we should try to be friends. You have figure out the rest of it your own way."

He turns to leave but stops and looks back at her. "When we were dancing on my parents' porch, it felt so right, ya know? So good to have you in my arms. It felt like that's what we should have been doing every night for the past 5 years. I was going to tell you that. Or maybe I was just going to kiss you senseless and try to get you in the backseat of my car. Who knows but he showed up. Like he showed up 5 years ago after you asked me to marry you. He always seems to show up. When are you going to stop letting him show up, Peyton? I will see you Saturday. Good night."

She swallows and whispers, "Good night Jake." He nods and walks away and Peyton finally manages to turn and head inside. She makes her way inside and collapses onto her bed, Jake's words echoing in her mind. "I would have gotten in the backseat," she whispers into the night.


	8. Can't Deny It Any Longer

Lucas dribbles the basketball onto the hard pavement of the Rivercourt. He stops, sets up on the line and lets the ball fly out of his hands. The swoosh can be heard across the land and he doesn't care. Why should he when all he can think about was seeing Peyton in Jake's arms. She looked so comfortable. Wait, that wasn't it at all. She looked serene. Something he hasn't seen on her face in years. Years ago when they were happy and he was the reason she was serene. Then he flew out to L.A. to make her his wife and, well, the rest is history. His cell phone vibrates in his pocket and he lets the ball roll away as he takes it out. _Lindsey._ The woman he was marrying in just a short few weeks. The one he loved, yet at this very moment, he didn't want to talk to her. He didn't want to hear her voice. He wanted to hear _her_ voice, even if she was yelling at him, cursing at him. It didn't matter as long as they were breathing the same air.

He presses ignore and is shocked at the time. He never hears his brother approach. "Yeah Luke, it's 1 fucking a.m. in the morning and your fiancé is scared out of her mind with worry because you won't answer her calls. So what's up with that bro?"

Luke glares at him and sighs. He takes out his phone again and presses the speed dial. "Hey Linds, yeah I am sorry about that." Pause. "No I am at the Rivercourt. Nate's here with me. Just had a few things on my plate that I needed to clear up. No, Brooke won't change her mind." Pause as Lucas rolls his eyes. "You could ask Hales but Brooke is pretty adamant about this. Baby, you know why. I will see you in a few. Bye." He shuts his phone and shoves it back into his jeans pocket. Nathan waits somewhat patiently for him to say something. Lucas chases the ball and does a quick lay up. He grabs the rebound and places the ball on his hip. "Jake is back in town."

Nathan has an ah-ha moment and nods. "And?"

Luke makes his way over to the bench and sits. Nathan follows and sits by his older brother. Luke looks at him, biting his lower lip. "I saw him when he came to Peyton's office. We were yelling and he just sticks his head and poof. She literally lights up and flies into his arms. I wanted to bash his head through the wall. I thought, this dude had hurt her too. He had left too, but I was the world's biggest asshole?" Lucas gets up to pace as Nathan leans back. "Then I go and ask Brooke about Linds' dress and who walks in with Peyton? Jake? They made a freaking ice cream date and I left. Forgot to ask Brooke if she could recommend someone else and what do I hear when I walk in? She fucking asked him to marry her."

He hurls the basketball across the court. He clenches and unclenches his fists in a rage that he didn't know he had been holding in. Nathan stands and places a hand tentatively on Lucas who shrugs him off. "She asked him to marry her. Asked him to share a life and his child with her for all eternity and does she ever mention this to me? No. But she says no to me? No." Lucas looks at Nathan with eyes wet from tears not yet shed. "Then I head over to his parent's place to give him the invitation to the wedding. I was just going to put it in the mailbox, but I saw them. Saw her. They were dancing and it was like a solid kick to my gut, Nate. Her in his arms and I had to get closer. I had to make it more real. I think they were about to kiss when she saw me over his shoulders and the look of…shame? Guilt? Whatever it was, it killed whatever was happening on that porch at that moment and I know it's wrong. So fucking wrong, but I was glad. Glad that I walked in on them. But that bastard Jake steps in front of her, like, to shield her from me." He runs a hand across the top of his head in wonderment. Nathan waits. "From me? What the fuck was that about? Thanked me for the invite and basically told me to fuck off. That I was being a dick because he was dancing with her." He takes in a ragged, deep breath and looks at his brother.

"Lucas, why are you mad?"

Lucas whips his head around to make sure he heard Nathan right. "Why am I mad? Why am I mad? He was dancing with her…"

Nathan cuts him off, speaking quietly, "She's not yours to get mad about anymore bro. You chose Lindsey. Remember her? The sweet girl who you proposed to after making out with Peyton. You have no right to be this furious about the woman you let go. Think about that bro." Nathan starts to head back to his car and pauses. He speaks without turning around. "Need a ride home?"

Lucas walks towards him and they make their way to Nathan's SUV. They get inside and Lucas looks at Nathan. "I know. In my head I know. In my heart? Iit's a different fucking story. That night she kissed me, it was like coming home. That kiss made Tree Hill home again, ya know? She pulled away and I just looked at her and did the only thing that I could. I kissed her again." He slams his hand on the dashboard. "I kissed her and fell right back in love with her."

Nathan drives silently for a moment. "Were you ever not in love with her after walking out on her in L.A.?"

Lucas sighs and stares out the window at the crescent moon in the black sky. He wishes he could say yes, but it would be a lie and they would both know it. He sighs again and looks at Nathan. "No. I just didn't know that until right now. Or until I saw her again. But I love Lindsey and am marrying her."

"Marrying her or running away from Peyton again? You really need to think this through Luke. Before you do something that could hurt either one of them and yourself."

"Nate, I love Lindsey. I swear to God, I do. I can see our white picket fence and 2 point 5 kids running around with Jamie. We've gotten so close and she knows me so well…"

"As well as Peyton?"

Lucas shrugs, "No one will ever know me the way Peyton did." They pull into the driveway and Lucas can see that his, their, light was still on. "Thanks Nathan. For listening, not judging."

Nathan pops his brother on the shoulder, good-naturedly. "I am always going to be here for you when you need me big brother. Never forget that."

Lucas nods and gets out. Nathan heads towards the front of the house as Lucas goes around to his entrance. She opens the door before he even slides his key in. Her eyes were damp with tears and she hastily wipes at her cheeks. He holds out his arms and she steps into them. He softly strokes her hair and they walk inside together. She makes her way to the bed and sits as he closes the door.

"Lucas, what is going on with you? For the past couple of days you have been so distant and I just don't know how to reach you. You seem even farther away than when Peyton first got here."

"Linds…" She shakes her head and he quiets down so she can finish.

"Ever since Jake came back, you've been in a sour mood, which I don't get. Weren't the two of you friends? Teammates? Unless, of course, this has to do with Peyton and who he was to her. Is it Luke? Do I need to worry that him being back in town is more than him being back in town?" She rises and takes his hands in hers. "We're getting married Lucas and I need to be sure that my groom is in this for the long haul. That his ex-girlfriend's ex-boyfriend being back in town has nothing to do with us." Lucas says nothing as she tries to read his eyes. "Luke?"

He strokes her hair and moves closer to her, releasing one of her hands so he can grab the back of her neck to bring their mouths together. He stops a hair away and they look into one another's eyes. "I love you Lindsey and in 4 weeks I can spend the rest of my life showing you just how much." She smiles and their lips meet.

_I know there was none of our magical couple in this chapter but I had this running around in my head and had to get it out. I think it helps with the story to know how Lucas is feeling as there is going to be somewhat of a triangle taking place. So yeah there will be Leyton moments but in the end, it's all Jeyton as it should have always been. Thanks for the reviews as they are what keep me writing this badboy. I hope you still enjoyed it. Kristy_


	9. Shut Up and Drive

Peyton watches the sun rise over Tree Hill from her balcony. She wraps the fleece blanket around her a bit more tightly so to ward off the slight chill in the spring air. She sighs and gets pissed because that seems to be all she has been doing for the past 2 days ever since her things with Luke and Jake. A lot of heavy sighing and soul searching that has gotten her what exactly? Nothing. Zip. Nada. She sighs again and rolls her eyes at herself. "God, this has to stop."

"Talking to yourself roomie? Never a good sign." Brooke steps onto the balcony and pulls her robe tighter around herself. "Brrr. It's a bit nippley out here. Why are you awake at this ungodly hour anyway? I know you didn't go to bed till late." Brooke makes her way to the other chaise and sits on the edge, sipping from her mug.

"He kissed me. I kissed him. Words were said and feelings were thrown out there and now I am the most confused woman on the planet. All because he kissed me." Peyton stops speaking and looks at Brooke, who puts her mug down beside her.

"And the _he_ we are speaking of is Jake?" She watches as Peyton nods. "Was it a good kiss?"

Peyton snorts. "My life is in utter turmoil. The man I thought I loved with all my soul and being is marrying another woman. The man who I had once loved and thought was gone forever shows up and brings up all these old yet new feelings and questions, and you Brooke Davis ask me if the kiss was good?" She glances at Brooke who has a smug smile on her face. Peyton laughs and nods. "Damn straight it was good."

"I knew something had happened but wasn't going to ask. Thank God you finally spilled because my resolve was weakening. So now what's up with the two of you?"

Peyton shakes her head, her soft curls bouncing on her shoulders. "I have no idea. I guess we kind of agreed to be just friends. Too much is going on, you know? Plus he's a little pissed at me about Lucas."

Brooke makes herself comfortable and slides back on the chaise. "How so? He has to know that Lucas is a sore and painful subject for you."

"Quite apparently, Luke's a sore and painful subject for Jake too." Peyton stares at the water and gathers her thoughts for a moment, before speaking. "He thinks that I let Lucas show up, quote unquote, and interrupt my life. He's also pissed that in letting me go and breaking both his and Jenny's heart, at least mine was supposed to be happy. God, Brooke, it so is not anywhere near happy and he called me on it and I have never felt so ashamed. Because he's right. I'm not happy and I don't know if that's all because of Luke or because I am a total dumbass incapable of allowing happiness into my heart. It clashes with who I think I am."

Brooke puts her hand on Peyton's leg and squeezes before snuggling inside her robe. "You're not a dumbass, Peyt. Look you have had more to deal with than most humans have ever had to. You lost both your moms, your dad was as scarce as my parents, Jake left with Jenny, the whole us and Luke debacle, the whole psycho-I-am-your-brother-no-wait-obsessive-stalker Derek issue and you also got shot." Brooke looks at her fingers making sure she ticked off the all major traumas. She purses her lips and Peyton rolls her eyes as she snorts her annoyance. Brooke gives her signature withering look and smiles. "It was a lot roomie. Just trying to make sure I got it right. Anyway, every time you had happiness or a real chance at it, something happened. Life happened and it happened in totally fucked up insane crazy ways. Then finally you and Lucas got it right. You moved to L.A. to get started in the music business and Luke was writing his book. You thought you were good. He thought you were good, it's just…" Brooke pauses and licks her lips. "It's just the two of you were on different levels of 'it's good'. His version included wedded young bliss for which you were not ready for, regardless that you had previously been engaged with hot billowing hair dad for a millisecond. That was a different Peyton from the one in a romantic L.A. hotel room."

Peyton nods. "How come I get that? How come you get that? How come Luke doesn't?" She wraps the blanket around her tighter. She looks at the water again and sighs before turning back to Brooke. "How am I supposed to watch him marry someone else? Someone who isn't me? And how the hell am I supposed to sit there with Jake and Jenny to watch said guy marry said chick who is not me?"

Brooke shrugs, "So now what's going to happen with you and hot dad?" Peyton glares at her and Brooke rolls her eyes. "Please P. Sawyer; you know you still want to rock his world. But like you said, life is happening with or without you, so are you going to just be a passenger or the one who drives?"

Peyton stares at her best friend, utterly bewildered. "I never said that. Ever. Nothing close to that."

Brooke shrugs and stands, "Well whatever. But roomie, isn't it something to think about? Really think about?" Peyton just looks at her. "I should mention this now because I am going to be a driver, a kick ass driver. I plan on becoming a mommy. Wait, let me finish. I want to show a child the love that had never been bestowed upon me. I have started the adoption paperwork because this is what I want and I needed to stop letting life do it's own thing without any say from me. This brings me to my other bombshell. I fired Victoria. I don't need her love, I wish I figured that out a little sooner, but it's okay. I'm okay. You're okay and we're going to be okay. Believe in that." She bends down and kisses the top of Peyton's head.

Peyton stares after her best friend and mutters under her breath, "Who knew that Brooke, my Brooke, would be the smartest person I know?" She runs her hand through her hair and stares out at the water.

**Lucas' Room - - - **

Lucas opens his eyes against the sunlight filtering through the blinds. He yawns and watches as Lindsey turns and snuggles into the crook of his arm. He stares at her with tears in his eyes because as much as he loves, and he does, he loves another more. He loves another with his entire being and soul and wonders how he made such a mess of his life. She must have felt him staring at her because she awakens with such hope in her eyes, that he feels foolish and weak. He brings his lips to hers and smiles against her mouth. "Morning gorgeous."

**Jake's - - -**

Jake rolls over in bed and smoothes down the sheet on the empty side. He has been doing this since the morning Peyton left Savannah. He has never allowed a woman to spend the night at his home because he would have to stop smoothing down the sheet and he has never been ready for that. Yes, he has shared his body with women, but they always complained that he was aloof and when they asked to meet Jenny, he would feel such a panic envelope him that he would break things off immediately. He could promise no more than stolen moments here and there. Sweaty afternoon romps while Jenny was at daycare. An occasional movie or dinner if he had a sitter. He stares at the empty side of the pillow and frowns as he smoothes the sheet once more.

He said too much last night. He laid his soul bare and in her hands. _What a fucking idiot! _He knew that she was a mess about Lucas, but instead of trying to be her friend he just unloads on her. And he kissed her. He actually grabbed her and shoved his tongue down her throat. She could have slapped him or pushed him away, but she didn't. She wrapped her arms around him and in that moment, life was perfect. It was as he always thought it should have been; them. He pulled back but he had to let her know what he was feeling, what he had been feeling since she walked out. But he didn't have a clue as to what had been going through her head. Did he really shove her out the door? He might have to protect himself from the hurt. To protect Jenny from the pain. It hadn't worked. He grabs a pillow and covers his face with it, so he can yell without anyone hearing him. He tosses it to the side and thinks about going back to bed instead of heading over to his new place to finish unpacking.

Jenny bursts through the door, the earliness of the day not hampering her buoyant mood. She jumps into bed with her father and cuddles. He kisses her nose and she giggles. "Good morning almost 6 year old."

She reaches out and pinches his nose. "Morning Daddy. Only 2 days left. Then we can have ice cream and presents." She quiets down and when she speaks again, her voice is so soft. "Daddy can we see Peyton today? Please."

He grabs her and lifts her up above his body and bench presses her a couple of times before allowing her to collapse on him. She laughs and Jake swears that a child's laughter could cure all diseases and world hunger. It was so pure and raw. "Baby, she's probably busy but don't worry she'll be here for your party which is in?"

She plays along, "2 days!! 2 days!! And Jamie is coming, right Daddy? And Mandy and Adrianna?" She had invited the two girls from down he block that she played with.

"Of course, of course. Hey how about I leave the unpacking for later and I take my absolute favorite girl out for some breakfast?" She jumps up and runs out of his room. He calls after her, "Hey make sure you brush your teeth Jenny."

He heads to his bathroom to face yet another day without Peyton. Lucas slowly removes his arm from under Lindsey's body, careful not to wake her. He heads to his bathroom to wash his face so he can write some more, hopefully get his mind off of a certain moody blonde. Peyton rises from the chaise and realizes she didn't want to be just a passenger anymore. She wanted to drive.

She only wishes life came with GPS.


	10. Pinatas and Goody Bags

Peyton takes a deep breath and scolds herself. _It just a 6 year olds birthday party, not a firing squad._ Brooke pokes her in the ribs and Peyton scowls at her.

"Dude, are we going in or are we just going to hang around out here because that would so be a total waste of this outfit." Brooke states with a beautifully arched eyebrow.

Peyton hisses, "I know. I know, but I haven't seen him since…" The door flings open and Jenny throws her arms around Peyton's waist. "Well, there you go. Happy birthday beautiful girl." Peyton glances toward the girl's father who stood in the foyer watching them. "Hey Jake."

He manages a smile and chides himself_. It's Jenny's birthday. Time to shelf this bullshit._ Jenny lets go of Peyton so they can enter. Brooke watches the tension just simmer between the two ex-lovers. Brooke gives Jenny a hug and hands her gift to Jake.

"Hey Jagielski." Jake smiles at the petite brunette and casually throws an arm around her shoulders. "Let's get this party started."

He looks at her with mock horror. "It's a kid's party, Brooke. I don't think it can handle your 'starting' anything."

She playfully shoves him and rolls her eyes. "I am a changed woman, Jake. Oh, can Jenny open her gift now, please?" he shakes his head and walks over to introduce Brooke to his parents.

He laughs and Peyton's stomach clenches. Then she sees the gentleness he exhibits with his father and smiles. She follows Jenny to the table where she places her gifts. The Hannah Montana theme makes Peyton smile as Jenny explains how they had to go to 3 different stores to find the guitar piñata. "Daddy said it was his life's work to find it, but I thought his job was building stuff."

Peyton laughs and tousles the kid's hair. She sees Skills, Mouth and Millicent by the couch and heads over to say hello when she notices Skills' dismay and runs straight into Bevin. "Oh, hey…"

Bevin stands with her hands on hips and smiles. "Oh my God, it's you Peyton." She then envelopes her in a bone crushing hug and Peyton offers an apologetic smile to Skills who is grimacing. Bevin releases her and starts talking. "So I saw Lucas and Brooke and some other people at Macy's where I work and I thought that you two would be married by now, but then I thought that they were getting married but it turns out Lucas is marrying neither of you." She pauses for a quick intake of air and continues, "But I am married and see that gorgeous little boy running after the girls, I swear he's just like his daddy. He's mine. Nathan. Well mine and Tim's."

Peyton manages to nod and keep up. "I heard. Congra…"

Bevin cuts her off and leans in to whisper, "I am happy, you know? I just wasn't expecting to see Skills." She leans back and clears her throat and Peyton sees her eyes widen in the direction of Lil' Nathan. "I have to go. Nathan! That cake is for later, not now."

"She still takes a minute to get used to, huh?" Jake comes up to Peyton with a plastic cup. "It's Pepsi."

She manages to take the cup without touching him and smiles. "Thanks. Jenny looks so pretty by the way. And great job with the piñata. It made her party."

Jake smiles in the direction of his daughter. "It was interesting. And the fun didn't stop there. Oh no, we had to make goody bags and they had to be customized to each individual child."

Peyton raises her cup to his in a toast. "To a piñata getting, goody bag creating dad."

The door bell rings and Jake excuses himself. Brooke materializes by Peyton's side. "See that wasn't so bad."

Peyton rolls her eyes, "Because we were talking about Jenny."

Brooke links her free arm through Peyton. "Well, let's go and cheer up Skills. Seeing Bevin and Tim and their little happy family caught him…oh, well, wow." Peyton stiffens by her side. "Just breathe, P. Sawyer. Just breathe."

Lucas and Lindsey enter the living room with Jamie running to Jenny. Jake follows behind them with less than joy on his face. Peyton manages to smile and when the engaged couple head over to them, she stifles the urge to run in the opposite direction. "Hey guys."

Lindsey clamps her hand around Lucas'. At least that's what it feels like to him. "Hey Peyt. Brooke." He clears his throat and nods to the guys. "Nate and Hales asked us to bring Jamie. They couldn't reschedule their counseling appointment. Jamie said he couldn't miss the party, so here we are. I mean at least they're trying. They're stopping by afterwards."

Brooke smiles and wishes Lindsey would stop looking at her with those hurt puppy dog eyes. "That's good. Hopefully he'll move back in soon. Well, we're going to talk to the guys. Have fun."

Lindsey speaks up before they can escape. "Brooke, could I have a moment?"

Brooke nods and the two women head off to a secluded corner leaving the two broody blondes alone. Peyton and Lucas don't say anything. Lucas looks at her obvious discomfort and sighs. "Look I am sorry about the other night. Well more than the other night. I was totally out of control and you didn't deserve that. You deserve so much more."

Peyton looked into his eyes and saw love there. God, why was he doing this to her? And, why here? "Look, it has been an emotional few days for me too. Maybe I should have told you about me and Jake and I can see why it hurt you. I didn't want that, but that's all over. So just concentrate on getting married and having your happily ever after."

"Peyton…I need to…"His voice trails off as Lindsey stalks back towards them, a barely contained fury in her eyes. "Hey babe, you ok?"

Peyton stares at him in disbelief. How could he look at her so lovingly and then switch gears so easily? She was over this and was about to walk away when she realized that Lindsey was speaking to her. "Excuse me? I wasn't listening."

Lindsey speaks in low tones so no one else can hear. "This is your fault. She won't make the dress because of you."

Lucas places a hand on her shoulder. "Babe, that's really not fair."

Peyton crosses her arms across her chest and plasters a fake smile on her face. "She's my best friend and that's her choice. What she does has always been her choice. But just to let you know, it's tacky that you even asked. Excuse me."

She heads over to the gang plops down on the couch, throwing her legs on top of Skills who was smirking. "Hey sexy."

"Don't hey sexy me, Peyton. I saw the gangsta in you right now. Tupac would be proud."

Peyton giggles and twirls a curl. "Well then it was worth it." Jake sits next to her and she leans against him as he and Skills talk basketball. The kids run around and she sighs, in contentment this time.

**- - - - - - - - - -**

"Happy birthday dear Jenny, happy birthday to you!!" The birthday girl positively glowed as everyone finished singing happy birthday to her. She looked hopefully at her dad who just shrugged his shoulders.

She clapped her hands and raced over to her gifts with the crowd following behind, leaving Jake to cut the cake. Peyton stayed behind to help. "Need a hand?"

He nods and watches as she puts plates out. He hears his little girl oh and ah as she opens gifts. He stops for a moment to see her open Brooke's gift which is a princess dress if he ever saw one. It was pink and shimmering and as Jenny's eyes glazed over with utter euphoria, Jake knew she would want to wear nothing else but that for the rest of her days. "Wow, Brooke knows the way to a girl's heart."

Peyton laughs. "She has been working on that for the past few nights. She wanted to give her a strand of pearls to go along with it, but I managed to convince her that it would be a bit much."

He nods with a perplexed look on his face. "Well it's my turn." They make their way over as Jenny stares at her father expectantly. He reaches behind the couch and pulls out his guitar case.

Jenny smiles and turns to Jamie, who was sitting on Nathan's lap. The couple had arrived a few moments before the cake portion of the day. "My Daddy sings me my song every birthday before he gives me my present."

Jake strums a few notes and starts singing _My Girl_. Jenny giggles as she bops her head along to the beat. Then Haley joins in during the chorus and Peyton sits up, smiling wickedly. She looks around and notices that everyone is really listening to the two of them.

**1 Hour Later - - - **

The party was winding down and people were leaving. Peyton spots Haley on the porch through an open window and heads outside. "Hales, can we talk for a minute?"

Haley nods and they make their way to the far end of the porch. Haley leans against the railing and waits. Peyton stuffs her hands into her jean back pockets and bites her lower lip. "Look, I know we have had a rough few weeks. And I know your marriage is your personal business…"

Haley stands up and runs her hands through her hair, "And I was so out of line, throwing Luke in your face like that when you were really only trying to help. I've been trying to figure out a way to apologize…"

"Without looking like a dumbass?" Peyton asks. Haley nods and Peyton smiles. "Me too." The two women embrace and smile at one another. "I am really gald you guys are trying to work it out."

Haley nods and wipes at her eyes. "You struck a nerve. This has been so hard for Jamie and I was totally being selfish. I love my guys and we deserve to be happy." Haley leans back against the railing, happy that she and Peyton made amends. "Hey Mia called me yesterday. She loves touring."

Peyton nods enthusiastically. "I know. I get texts and emails where she's just gushing about how much fun she's having which brings me to why I wanted to talk to you. Now that Mia is gone, I need to find my next star or stars. I have been listening to demo after demo and nothing is calling out to me. I have heard dreadful and okay but nothing that grabs me the way Mia did."

Haley tucks her hair behind her ears. "Well that sucks, but stay positive Peyton. You'll hear someone that will blow you away and the fun will start all over again."

Peyton nods. "I did. Just now, in Jake's parents' living room." Haley is staring at her blankly and Peyton laughs. "How would you like to get back into the music business, singing this time? Singing with Jake?" At Haley's dumbfounded look, Peyton rushes on, "You guys sounded twenty times better than any demo I have listened to in the past few weeks. Imagine if you had sung an original song? I know you write beautiful music and Jake can too and I just think it could work. One song. We go from there. What do you say?"

Haley finds her voice. "Um, what does Jake think? This is crazy. I haven't sung in such a long time and it's scary. I mean I have been writing a little lately because our therapist wants us to find the things that used to be important before Jamie, which is music for me. It's weird how things happen." Peyton waits for her to stop rambling. Haley starts pacing. "Oh God. Oh God, what if we suck? Does he want to?"

Peyton shrugs, "I haven't spoken to him yet, but I am before I leave. Look I wanted us to clear the air first. The two of you had the whole crowd moving in there and it just reached me somewhere down deep which is something none of those demos have. Think about it and let me talk to Jake."

Haley nods. "I'll do it. I think I am meant to." She hugs Peyton once again when she sees Nathan and Jamie waiting by their car. She waves to them. "He's moving back in. To the guestroom, but it's a step."

Peyton rubs Haley's back. "It's a very important step. He screwed up, Haley. But I am glad that you two are going forward instead of taking more steps back. Look how happy Jamie is. Have a good night."

Haley makes her way to her family, saying goodbye to Brooke who was making her way to Peyton. "What was that about? The two of you finally make up?"

"I want her and Jake to record a song for me. She's on board. I just have to talk to him."

Brooke nods a smirk upon her face. "Well then, I am heading home. Jake can drive you home. Bye roomie." And with that, she saunters off, pausing to kiss Jake on the cheek as he walks out Lucas and Lindsey. Everyone says their goodbyes and within minutes it's just the two of them on the porch.

Jake heads back inside with Peyton following behind him. They start to clean up in silence. "Jenny's upstairs playing with her new stuff, wearing Brooke's dress. She loves that you got her dance lessons."

Peyton drops paper plates into the garbage bag he held out. "I thought so. If there's ever a time you can't take her, I'll be more than happy to." He nods and they continue to work in silence.

"I can feel you staring. What's up?" His voice startles her.

"Um, well, see Brooke left and I have no ride. But I need to talk to you and oh screw this. I want you and Haley to record a song for my label."

"Excuse me?" He stops mid-swipe and looks at her blankly. He puts the rag down and rubs his chin. "Record what song?"

Peyton swings into record executive mode. "A song that has yet to be written. Look I know you can write. I have heard your songs and Haley is an accomplished recording artist who has been on hiatus for some time. Your voices blended so smoothly together and you sing the same type of songs, it just makes sense. One song. That's all I am asking. Just one song."

"I haven't written anything in a couple of years. I don't know if I can anymore."

Peyton walks over to stand before him and looks him dead in the eye. "Yes, you can. I know you can. Let's just meet in my office a couple of times to brainstorm and see what happens. It won't hurt to try."

He moves closer and Peyton sucks in her breath. "It won't? Hurt to try?" He is now concentrating on her lips and Peyton wonders when the tone of the conversation changed. She moves closer and when his hand lands on her waist, she releases the breath she didn't know she had been holding in.

"Trying is always good." His eyes darkened and she licks her lips. He pulls her towards him and inches his lips closer to hers when they hear Jenny bounding down the steps.

"Daddy. Daddy. Something is wrong with Grandpa Mike."

Jake releases Peyton as they run up the stairs, two at a time. Peyton gathers Jenny in her arms as Jake finds his father collapsed on the floor with his mother by his side. Peyton pulls out her cell and dials. "911? We need an ambulance right now."


	11. Muttering, Raving, Rambling

_I know nothing about medicine except of what I watch on ER, House and Grey's Anatomy. So of course, I will have no choice but to make it up as I go along because even though a true author might research into all that medical jazz, I am a lazy bitch who writes on a whim. Enjoy my latest whim…Kristy_

Peyton wakes up, instantly regretting it as her muscles scream in protest. Her neck is stiff and she has a heavy weight on her deadened legs. The weight moves and snuggles closer to her. _Jenny_. Then the events from the night before replay in her mind in a crazy fast forward motion. She yawns and bites her lip as her gaze lands on a sleeping Jake. She wants to reach out and comfort him but just gathers Jenny closer in her arms.

"Is Grandpa going to be okay?" The child asks with a hitch in her throat. She looks up at Peyton with big teary eyes and Peyton wishes she could promise that he would come out of this skipping and hopping his way back home, but she can't. Luckily his doctor had already been at the hospital preparing for Mike Jagielski's Coronary Artery Bypass Graft (CABG). Right now they couldn't perform that surgery until Jake's dad was stable for more than 15 minutes.

Peyton realizes that Jenny is waiting for her to answer, so she absentmindedly strokes the girl's hair, while whispering in her ear. "Your grandpa knows how much he is needed here and wants nothing more than to come home to your grandma, dad, and you. He just needs you and daddy to be strong for him right now."

Jenny considers Peyton's words and nods solemnly. Dr. Rashad steps out of room and Jake jumps up as Peyton struggles to stand with Jenny in her arms on shaky legs. Jake looks at the doctor expectantly, while fiercely gripping his mother's hands. "It looks like he made it just in time. Stubborn, stubborn man that he is. We won't be able to do the CABG until tomorrow when I get back some more results but you are all welcome to see him."

They shake hands and Peyton puts Jenny down. She hugs Mrs. Jagielski who takes Jenny's hand and goes into room. Peyton and Jake look at each other and Peyton gives him a rather awkward hug. "It's great Jake. He's going to pull through. You get that fighting spirit from somewhere, you know? I'm going to go home and eat something. Shower and …" She stops talking because she knows she is just rambling.

He nods and walks her to the elevator despite her protests of insisting that he visit with his dad. "He'll wait. He's stubborn, remember?" He pushes the button for the elevator and as they wait, he gathers her in his arms and nearly crushes her with his hug. He lets her go and kisses her cheek. "Thanks for staying. Wait, don't brush it off Peyt. It meant a lot to me, my mom and to Jenny. Thanks."

Peyton nod graciously and steps onto the waiting elevator. "Tell him I said hi." The doors close and Peyton lets out the breath she had been holding in since the doctor stepped out of his dad's room. "Woo…"

**Red Bedroom Records aka Tric- - -**

Peyton sorts through her mail and checks her emails that same afternoon. She smiles when she comes across one from Mia. She reads it and sends off a quick reply. She checks her bank account and wonders if Lucas would let her build a recording studio in her office. She has been toying with the idea for a bit and she could definitely pull it off, especially with Mia agreeing to do the Starbursts Six Flaggs tour. She picks up the phone, not her cell, have to keep this business like and dials. He answers and she immediately knows that he has just woken up. His voice is husky and that reminds her of mornings in bed, tumbling around…_Peyton, stay focused and not on his morning hard on that would last for the next hour…_"Umm, sorry Luke, if I woke you. It's Peyton and I was just wondering if when you had some time, could you pass by the office so we can discuss a few things?"

Lucas sits up in bed and glances toward his bathroom where he could hear the water running and knew Lindsey was showering. "Umm, sure how about in an hour?"

Peyton's eyes widen in surprise, "Oh wow, ok. It's not urgent; I mean you could always pass by later on. I'll be here all day." _Great, now you sound desperate and compliant and as if you have no life. _"It's just some business, a few ideas I had, and…"

He smiles into the phone as she gets all flustered. "I like when you get like that. All tongue tied." He hears her little gasp and continues. "Like when we would make love."

Peyton nearly drops the phone. _Was he high?_ "Okay then…um, well I will see you later Luke, bye." She hangs up the phone and stares at it as if were going to get up and do the Irish jig.

Lucas closes his cell phone, his face ashen. He didn't believe he just said that to her. Sure he had been thinking it, but it totally slipped from his mind and out his mouth. He stands and Lindsey gets out the bathroom in only a towel. She smiles coyly when her gaze goes downward. "Good morning." She purrs and drops her towel and the sight of her wet nude body did nothing. Triggers nothing and he walks past her to the bathroom, pausing to give her a quick pat on the bare behind.

"Hey baby. I'm gonna shower. What time is your flight?" He closes the door behind him and leaves a bewildered Lindsey just gawking at the door. She frowns and pulls out a pair of lounge pants from her drawer. She finishes getting dressed and blow dries her hair quickly. She sets her overnight bag on the bed, to make sure she has packed everything she needs for the next couple of days in New York. She had a meeting with the senior editors at the publishing company plus her final fitting for her dress. She unzips the bag and gasps.

"It's an early wedding present." Luke stands in the bathroom doorway as Lindsey sits on the edge of the bed, holding his manuscript in her hands. He makes his way over to her. "I know it's been a long time coming."

Lindsey stands and kisses him gently on the lips. "I am sure it will be worth the wait, Luke." She puts it in her tote and kisses him again. "Let's get going." He nods and finishes getting dressed.

**Red Bedroom Records (Again) - - -**

A couple of hours had passed since her weird and awkward phone convo. She tried focusing on other things, but his last comment kept playing over and over in her mind like a scratched CD. She wonders if she should just call him and tell him something came up and she couldn't see him, but that would be her letting him just show up. Ugh. She hated being a grown up sometimes. She gets up to pour herself some more coffee when Brooke bursts through her door. "I'm going to get a baby…well, it's more like a trial run. See she's from a third world country where her parents are too poor and doctors in the U.S. give up their skills and time for her to have surgery, so I host her while she's here. Isn't it great?"

Peyton just stares at her and waits for her to catch her breath. She puts down her coffee mug and hugs her best friend. "That's great Brooke. I am so happy for you, but when is she coming? And what kind of surgery does she need? And most importantly, can you handle having to give her back?"

Brooke sits in a chair as Peyton hoists herself up onto her desk. "No. Yes. Look we both know that adoption interview bitch hated me and I figure she thinks I can't hack it as a mom, but if this is my chance to prove my worth, then fine. Plus, I get to help this baby see another day. Think about how hard it must be for her parents to trust another human being with their baby. That's too many things. She is arriving any day now. I don't know what she needs just yet. But I have the doctor info and have to set up an appointment as soon as I get her."

Peyton nods and opens her mouth to speak, when her door opens again and Jake enters. Brooke smiles at him and wiggles her eyebrows at Peyton. She rises and gathers her things. "I'm off. Baby shopping and all that jazz. Behave." She says to no one in particular.

She kisses Jake's cheek on the way out and Jake looks at Peyton with questions in his eyes. Peyton slides off her desk and smiles. "Brooke wants to adopt a baby. It's been something she has been looking into for the better part of a year. The adoption agency isn't quite sure of Brooke's qualifications, especially being single and running her company with no help, but I guess what Brooke said to her got to her and she's giving her a chance. She's going to watch and take care of a baby that needs a life saving surgery from another country. I'm really happy for her. She was so down after that interview. But she wasn't giving up. Oh God, make me stop talking. I come within 3 feet of you and I'm this muttering, raving, rambling sociopath who do…"

Jake laughs and sits in the chair Brooke just vacated. "It's okay. Relax. I just wanted to stop by and let you know my dad is having his surgery tonight." Peyton flops into the chair next to him, slides it closer and squeezes his hand reassuringly. "And I had to come and thank you for how wonderful you were with Jenny. You kept her calm and there were a few moments I actually forgot where she was in all the madness, but then I would see her in your arms and it was…it was a great weight off my shoulders. And I wanted to stop to thank you." He drops her hand and rises, Peyton following suit.

He heads to the door and before he has a chance to push it open, Luke comes inside. "Hey Pe…" Luke's voice trails off as the two men stare at one another. Luke gives Jake the nod and Jake nods back. "What's up man? How's your dad?"

"He's good. Thanks for asking. I gotta go back to the hospital now. Hey Peyton," Jake turns to face her once more. "I'll do it. I'll record a song with Haley and we'll see how it goes."

Peyton smiles and nods. "That's great. I'll call Haley and maybe in a couple of days you two can meet up here, so we can work some details out. Thanks Jake. Tell your fam I said hi." Jake nods and makes his way out. Lucas and she just stare at one another warily. "Hey Luke, thanks for dropping by. I just wanted…"

He cuts her off, "Record what song?"

She is shocked by the malice in his voice. "I asked Hales and Jake to record a song for my label. I am going to convince Hales that she is so due for a comeback. And, well, Jake sounded great the other night. Um, that's it."

Lucas nods and closes the distance between them. He stands in front of her, causing her to lean against her desk, memories of another desk, clothes flying, bodies touching flooding both their minds. He raises his hands to slide against her bare arms, barely grazing the sides of her breasts and coming to rest at her wrists. "What did you want to ask me?"

Peyton's mouth drops open and she closes it, trying to remember how to speak. She pulls her wrists out of his grasp and moves around him to the other side of her desk. She needs the space. She opens a drawer and slides a manila folder across the desk to him. "I wanted to know if you would let me build a recording studio here. There's more than enough space and it would just be more cost efficient. That's the bid I got from Jake."

"Jake?" The acid in his voice makes her scowl.

"Yes Jake. Listen I don't understand what your issue is, but it has to stop. You were barely civil to him right now and this is what he said a fairly priced contractor would most likely charge me."

Lucas read over the documents and blueprints. "He wouldn't do the job himself?"

Peyton frowns. "No, he's a bit preoccupied at the moment with his father and it's really none of your fucking business."

Lucas stares at her and she gives it right back. "It's not?"

"Lucas, just give me an answer. Yes or no?" He nods and slides the papers back to him. He stands and makes his way to the door when she calls out his name. He turns, with she thinks, slight hope in his eyes. "You asked Lindsey to marry you. You choose someone else. If you ever talk to me like you did this morning or touch me again, I'll tell your blind fiancée what a true bastard you've become. I might not be the Peyton in your book anymore, but you're sure as hell not that Lucas anymore. Goodbye."

He bites his lip from replying and nods, slamming the door behind him.

_Okay so sorry if this chapter feels a bit all over the place but I am medicated and in my drug induced mindset, it makes sense to me. What can I say? I HATED the finale. I thought it was awful the way they tried to make this into more than a love triangle and shove Brooke into the mix. Trifecta my ass. Brooke and Lucas finally matured into great friends and the writers almost ruin it with that bullshit. Plus I think the hottie doc has a thing for her. The whole Lindsey/Lucas cell phone convo where she admitted she lied about seeing someone was trite and uneventful to me. I enjoyed the Lucas and Peyton moment, it just had more substance. And now that October Road has been cancelled, maybe we'll get Jake back on OTH. A girl can hope._


	12. Don't Know

_I want love, kisses and great sex, wait make that raunchy sex…so here goes…_

"God, that was corny…" He slams his hands down on the piano keys. He runs his hands through his hair in frustration and stares at the sheets of music. He and Hales have been working on their song for a close to two weeks. They had their chorus, hooks, verses and all that was missing was his final few lines. It was so easy to get back to music. He had been terrified that he wouldn't be able to go back, just as Haley had been but they just hit the ground running and hadn't looked back since. They decided to go back and forth as a couple wondering if what they had was worth fighting for and it was great. There were words of pain, anger, and love. He thought of Nikki for the anger and for the hurt? The pain? Peyton. How could he think of anyone else? She was also the inspiration for the love, the goddamn love. She had even been around for some of their pow wows and when he looked at her, he wished that she would know that it was her that he was singing to. But he was coming up with nothing right now and had been for the past two days. In the song the lovers decided that being apart was not the answer and their love was worth the fight. He needed to convey that to end the song.

Peyton watched him with a smirk on his face. She had been watching him for the last fifteen minutes and was fascinated. He went from being at ease to utter frustration to downright anger in the blink of an eye. He grimaced, scowled and frowned at he piano as if he were about to beat its ass. He wrote, crossed out and stabbed the sheets of music with a vengeance. She glances at her watch and sees it's a little past 1 a.m. She clears her throat and Jake looks up at her. "You usually know when I'm staring Jagielski."

He offers a half smile and shrugs, "Yeah but I'm really preoccupied at the moment. Why are you here so late?"

She walks over to him and sits down on the piano bench, close but not quite touching his body with hers. "I was having a hard time sleeping, so I figured I'd pass through and work on some stuff for Mia and listen to some new demos I got this week." She pauses and continues, "Still having trouble ending the song?" She smiles sheepishly at his annoyed expression. "Hales told me. Well what do you have so far?"

He grabs the song and thrusts it at her, mindlessly playing the melody of the song while she reads his last verse. She is struck by the simple emotion of his words and wishes he was singing them to her. He stops playing at glances at her. "I wrote them thinking of you."

She tears her eyes from the papers in her hands and looks at him. "Jake…" the words come out on a strangled gasp of breath. They just stare at one another, unsure of what they should do next. She opens her mouth and no words come out so she swallows and tries again. "Jake, how does it end?"

He wishes he knew. He wishes that he could say whatever it was that she needed to hear to make her trust him, trust in them, but like in the song, words failed him. He replied honestly, "I don't know, Peyton. I just don't."

She feels tears sting her eyes and she nods. She stares at the words on the pages again and when she speaks again, it's about something safe. Something that's not them. "Jenny called me and told me that Grandpa Mike is very grouchy in the hospital."

Jake laughs and nods, "I swear he's going to drive the nurses mad. He'll be out in less than a week. I'm glad that Jenny can come to you, even though…" His voice trails off and Peyton stares at the piano keys again.

She feels a calm wash over her as he starts to play the melody again. She gazes as his fingers fly over the keys. His touch light and the melody stirring something inside her. She remembers a night about a week ago when Hales was the one playing the piano and Jake was off on the couch strumming along.

_She stares as his nimble fingers strum the chords on the guitar. There was something rather sensual about Jake playing the instrument. It was as if she could still feel those same fingers playing with her skin, making her scream and yearn for more._

_Haley looks at Peyton and smiles. As she plays, she leans over and whispers conspiratorially, "Why don't you just tell him?"_

_Peyton nearly jumps out of her skin and clears her throat. "Tell him what?"_

_Haley glances back at the piano keys and smiles, "That you want him to play you like that."_

Peyton had smacked her on the arm and they had erupted in a fit of giggles causing Jake to make his way over. He had asked what the joke was and Peyton could feel herself flush with embarrassment. She looks over at him now and smiles. "Jake?"

He continues to play, but looks her way, "Hmm?"

She looks into his eyes and whispers, "I want to drive."

He looks at her in confusion and stops playing. "Huh? I don't get it. Do you think a drive would help clear my head?"

She licks her lips and stands, wedging herself between the piano and his body. His hands that had dropped to his lap slowly make their way to her narrow hips. She runs her fingers through his hair and leans forward until his forehead is resting against her flat stomach and just breathes. She pushes his head back gently with her hands until he is forced to look up into her eyes. "I still don't know Peyton."

She licks her lips and reaches for his hands, taking them and placing them on her breasts. He nearly cums in his pants from that single touch. "Touch me Jake. Please just touch me."

He growls out something incoherent and stands, forcing her to lean against the piano, her ass hitting a few keys. She didn't care if her ass magically played _Yankee Doodle_ as long as he kept touching her. His hands were roaming her body, getting reacquainted with her subtle curves. She whimpers when his lips that had been trailing kisses along her jaw line, finally found her lips. He uses his tongue to trace her bottom lip until she could bear it no more. She grabs his face with her hands and opens his mouth with her tongue.

"Hmmm…" Jake couldn't breathe and didn't care. He could easily die from sheer happiness, or horniness, and it would all right by him. Her hands release his face as their tongues coax little sounds of pleasure from one another. Her hands start unbuttoning his shirt and when he feels her nails lightly scratch at his nipples, his cock stands up at full attention. He lifts her up onto the piano, all types of notes sounding off. He pushes apart her legs and steps between her thighs, pulling her closer to him, grounding his arousal against her sweet center. He takes a half step back making her want more.

"Oh God, Jake…" Her head falls back as he starts to rub her throw the soft material of her pants. She starts gyrating her pelvis against his hand, wanting to fall off the very edge he was driving her to. He watches as her eyes close in satisfaction and smiles when she pouts as he pulls his hand away.

He catches those lips with his once again and shrugs his shirt off as she shoves it down his arms. He groans when he feels her hands tugging at his belt. He breaks the kiss and stares at her. Lips swollen from his. Eyes glazed over with lust, for him. "Not yet."

She smiles wickedly at that and pulls her sweatshirt off, throwing it over his head. She wasn't wearing a bra and he lowers his mouth to one erect nipple. _Finally_. It was the single thought that was going through both their minds. _Finally_. He tugs at the strings of her pants and hoists her up around his waist while attacking her mouth again. She moves against him and his knees nearly buckle. He somehow makes his way to her desk and lowers her onto it, while somehow managing to shove aside CDs, post-its, pens and who knows what else. She helps and doesn't care when her phone crashes to the floor. She sits up and helps Jake take off his jeans. He helps her shimmy out her pants and thong. He pushes her back and starts at her neck, using his tongue to do wicked things. He continues his way down, first at her right breast and then the left, while slowly sliding two fingers into her sweet wetness. She cries out his name as the orgasm hits her. He continues pumping away as he falls to his knees and tastes her for the first time in more than five years. She was sweet and tart and silky all at the same time. As she arches her back in her second orgasm, Jake stands. She slowly comes back to her senses and sits up, wrapping her hand around his thick shaft, making him moan. He was more than ready to make love to her until she releases her grip and places a hand on his bare chest.

"Stop." They're both panting heavily and a light sheen of sweat has developed on their naked bodies.

"What's wrong?" He asks as he pushes her hair out of her face, nibbling on her earlobe.

"We don't have any condoms." She whispers and Jake stops, stricken by his carelessness. He was so focused on her and what they were doing that being responsible had flown out the window. Peyton leans back and sees his panicked expression and laughs. "But if you have a buck, you'll find some in the vending machine in the men's room of Tric, along with breath mints and gum."

He bites her lower lip and rummages through his jeans for money. "I'll be right back." She giggles as she watches his bare behind run out of her office through the glass doors. She makes her way to her couch and lies back, loosely covering herself with a throw she had draped on the side. _Wait a minute, we're grown ups now. Not teenagers anymore and we know more than we did from the last time we were together. _Then she tosses the throw to the floor and arranges herself on the couch so when Jake walks back in he has a better view. She licks her fingers and pinches her nipples, making them hard and shiny. She slowly slides her hand lower and lower until she slides her fingers into herself. She starts slowly, building up the pressure and Jake walks along her office and they lock eyes as he watches her make love to herself through the glass. He swallows and Peyton swears she can hear it. He pushes open the door and stops about two feet away, mesmerized by what she was doing.

"I was missing you touching me."

His hard on throbs as he hurries to put the condom on. He groans when she whimpers as she starts frigging her clit. "Peyton, you're killing me." She slides her fingers out and brings them to her lips, slowly licking her juices off.

He lowers himself to her and slowly, inch by inch, thrusts inside her. It was tight and Peyton squirmed slightly as she hadn't been with anyone since that ONS a few months after Luke. Jake brings his lips to her and licks them, savoring the taste of her pussy on them. They kiss and the ferocity that had been driving them earlier turns into something else. They were both afraid to label it. Both afraid to give it a name. He moves inside her as she wraps her legs around his waist, digging the heels of her bare feet into his ass so he would go deeper. The kiss deepens and she pulls back, eyes rolling as another orgasm floods her senses. He looks on as she sighs in contentment and when they lock eyes, they both see the questions in each other's.

He quickens his pace and Payton murmurs in his ear as he finally releases his load deep inside her. He collapses on her as she strokes his back. He feels her heart racing against his and closes his eyes.

She brings her lips to his ear and tells him, "You don't have to know Jake. We'll figure it out together." He gets up, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. He cleans himself off as Peyton gets up to get dressed.

"Don't." She stops picking her sweatshirt off the floor. He makes his way back to the couch and lies down, grabbing the discarded throw off the floor. "Sleep with me. Please."

She nods and lies between his legs against his toned abdomen. He covers them and they both drift off to sleep.

Later on, as the sun starts to filter its way in, Peyton groans and hears the piano and Jake singing.

_It's like being young again, foolish and invincible all at the same time… _

_And although we both don't know where we go from here, as long as it's you by my side, we'll figure it out together…_

_And I know we'll make it, it's been destined, our love._

Peyton sighs and falls back asleep, smiling.

_Okay, I so needed a Jeyton smut type fix. Hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. And if anyone could tell me what Lindsey said at the almost wedding when it was her turn to say her I do's. I just need the whole book quote about the Comet because I can't seem to find any transcripts for the episode. Thanks…Kristy_


	13. Morning After

"OH MY GOD!!"

The not so gentle voice of Brooke had Peyton bounding up, half asleep; slowly realizing that she was entirely nude, scrambling to pick up the throw off the floor to cover herself. Her eyes were wild as was her hair and she just glared at Brooke in utter disbelief as her best friend openly gaped at her. Peyton wraps the throw around her body and tries nonchalantly to look around to see if Jake were still there. Her eyes settle on a piece of paper on top of her folded clothes. Brooke follows her gaze and being closer, snatches up the note while staring accusingly at Peyton. "Brooke? What time is it?"

Brooke fans herself with the note while slowly pacing Peyton's office, stopping to glance at the disheveled desk, while throwing daggers at Peyton. "8:30 in the morning, so today is Anna's first doctor appointment, which my bestest friend in the whole universe…"

Peyton slaps a hand to her forehead, "Brooke, oh God, I am so…"

Brooke stops and holds a finger up to silence Peyton and takes a quick breath before continuing, "As I was saying, today is Anna's first doctor's appointment and I am not surprised that I am up before said bestest friend because she keeps all these weird late hours. So I tiptoe into said pal's room and am quite shocked to find her not there. Call her name out. No answer. So I figure maybe she was at her office. Tried calling but the phone is ringing off the hook and I even try to get the operator to cut in, but she can't. Tried calling BFF's cell but she's not answering that either. So now I am calling all our friends, wondering if anyone has seen you, but no one has. So I even tried calling her ex-not-to-be-mentioned boyfriend who is at our house watching Anna at this very moment just so I could haul my ass over here top make sure my dearest, closest friend almost sister isn't dead. He is quite beside himself by the way." Brooke takes another quick breath as Peyton squirms under her gaze. "No, it seems my roomie was getting a piece of ass as I was freaking out."

Peyton rolls her eyes at Brooke's not so quite hidden smirk. "Actually the ass getting was in the middle of the night while you were sleeping." Peyton stands and makes her way to where Brooke is standing and holds out her hand for the note. Brooke smiles as she hands it over. "And why did you call Lucas out of all people?"

Brooke sits in an empty chair and shrugs. "You've been having a rough go of it these past couple of nights, P. Sawyer. Coming here or doing whatever it is at all hours. I noticed." She says as Peyton's eyebrows shoot up. "The wedding is a week away. I didn't know if your resolve weakened or if you were staging a coup. I was worried and called. This reminds me that I should call him and let him know you're fine. I'll leave Jake out of it."

"Who said anything about Jake?" Peyton asked, hoping it was without a ridiculously huge smile on her face. Brooke just stares at her as she holds her cell in her hand. Peyton shrugs and opens the note as Brooke calls Lucas.

_Dear Peyton,_

_Sorry but I had to leave. I had to get home before Jenny woke up. She's still too young to understand about random late night booty calls in recording studios and I pray she never knows. I wanted to wake you but as corny and clichéd as it sounds, you looked so beautiful sleeping, I didn't have the heart to. I'll call you later._

_Jake_

_PS…I took your undies. Yes, I am a pervert._

Peyton bursts out laughing as Brooke hangs up with Lucas. She stands and gathers her clothes, getting dressed with the throw on. Brooke wiggles an eyebrow and Peyton looks at her questioningly. "No panties?"

Peyton blushes and scowls. "Shut up."

**Later That Day - - -**

Peyton closes the door of the house behind her and drops the bags on the floor. She felt horrible about almost missing Anna's appointment that she went a small, okay slightly huge, shopping spree. Who knew that they made Crocs so small? They had barely made it to the appointment but Lucas had Anna ready to go that all he had to do was hand her off to Brooke as Peyton waited in the driver's seat of Brooke's car. Lucas and she had locked eyes for a brief moment before she turned her head. She stops in the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. She catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror in the hallway and sees what a mess she was. Her tangled, mused up hair, piled on top of her head in a weird messy knot. Her baggy sweatshirt that hung off her shoulder a la Flashdance. She steps out of her Crocs, black of course. Just because she went a tad mainstream didn't mean she would abandon all self preservation. But they were damn comfortable.

Her cell rings and when she sees his name on the caller ID, she grins from ear to ear. "Hey you." She listens as Jake says his hello, followed by an apology for leaving her earlier. "Oh stop. I totally get why you had to go. Sorry I missed your call earlier but I was at the hospital with Brooke and Anna. Then I went on a shopping spree that would make Brooke proud and just got home. But I'm glad you called. I miss you."

"_I miss you too. Is that corny? Are we being too corny right now because I really don't give a rat's ass, ya know?" _

Peyton laughs into the phone as she takes the bags into Anna's nursery. She takes out some packages and arranges them on the changing table as they exchange small talk. "So how's your dad?"

"_Fine. He's grumpy and pissed off and making the nurses' lives a living hell. His doctor is so happy about that. It shows that he's still got a lot of life in him. Oh and I made it home just in time to get about 15 minutes of sleep before Jenny bounced into my bed. Thank God for PBS. I managed to get another couple hours of sleep."_

Peyton smiles as she makes her way back to the kitchen. She gets out a mug and pours herself a cup of coffee as she asks where Jenny is. Jake explains that she's at Nathan's and Haley's for a play date with Jamie.

"_She loved the song, by the way. Not Jenny. Haley did. She said it was simple yet poignant and tied up the song quite well. We'll record it tomorrow over at the recording studio. When are they going to start the construction at Red Bedroom?"_

"Hmm, after the wedding." There's a pause in the conversation and the doorbell sounds. "Jake, it's the door."

"_It's ok. We'll talk later. Bye."_

"Bye." Peyton clicks and frowns. She sets the mug down on the coffee table and lets the person at the door know she'll be right there. She opens the door and squeals as Jake stands there, thong in hand, twirling it around his finger. "Jake!"

He steps inside and crashes his mouth against hers, pulling her hair out of the makeshift bun. Clothes go flying as he slams her against the wall by the stairs. They break apart long enough for him to ask, "Bedroom?"

She nips at his neck and shakes her head. "Bathroom. I need a shower and I do remember that we do that quite…hmm…" He attacks her lips with his teeth, nibbling, making her powerless against him.

They somehow manage to make their way to the bathroom. Jake carries her into the shower stall and jumps out grab condoms from his jeans that were somewhere by the foyer of the house. He steps back in and lets out a breath. "I forgot that you like it this hot."

Peyton turns to him, wrapping her hand around his thick shaft and smiles. "You ain't seen nothing yet."

Sometime later, they lay in her bed, bodies intertwined. They were kissing softly, spent from a vigorous shower and were now enjoying one another's company. It was amazing to the both of them how they could be this comfortable with one another so quickly. He twirled her hair between his fingers as she gently stroked his arm. His cell went off and he reached over and picked it off the floor. "That's the alarm. I have to go and pick up Jenny." He hops up off the bed and noisily kisses Peyton.

She rolls over, covering herself with the sheet and watches as he dresses. _God, he has such a great ass._ She sighs and stands, throwing on some clothes as Jake finishes tying his sneakers. "We should grab dinner later."

He nods and they make their way to the front door, sharing a quick kiss as the door flies open and a stunned Lucas stands behind Brooke who is holding a fussy Anna. She makes her way inside with a quick hello to Jake. Lucas steps inside, holding a diaper bag and props it on the couch. Jake watches Peyton who is staring right back at him and makes him feel foolish. What did he think that she would go running into Luke's arms? He leans in to kiss her on the lips gently and she sighs against his mouth.

"I'll call you later." She nods and closes the door behind him and turns around to see Luke glaring at her from the couch.

She tries to make her way back to her bedroom without speaking to him when he calls out, "So is he the reason you weren't here this morning?"

She slowly turns to face him, "That's none of your business Lucas. Why are you even here right now anyway?"

He stands and stands in front of her. "Brooke stopped by the house with Anna because my mom is there with Lily and Andy. She wanted to say hi, show off the baby."

"Karen's here?" It comes out slightly hoarse and she clears her throat.

He takes another step towards her. "Yeah. She wanted to get here a few days before the wedding." That sentence, that word hangs between the two of them. He whispers, "Is that why you're doing this thing with Jake?"

That question snaps Peyton out of her reverie. She gapes at him, "Out of all the asinine things you could come up with. What I do or don't do with whoever is none of your concern. Tell your mom I said hi and to stop by Tric whenever she gets a chance. I think that would be the best option, rather than me passing by your house."

He watches as she walks away, furious with himself and even more furious that flushed glow upon her cheeks was from one thing. He knew because he used to be the reason she would glow like that. He lets out a strangled breath and lets himself out, glancing once more at her bedroom door.

Peyton leans against her door and stares at her bed. Her mussed up bed, with pillows strewn upon the floor and the sheets tumbled up in a bunch in the corner. They made that mess. And at that she smiles as she plops onto it.


	14. Morning Of

Lucas adjusts his tie and for the millionth time that day wishes more than anything that Keith was there helping him with it. Then he glances at his reflection and wishes for the millionth time that the only woman on his mind was Lindsey, but she's not. He found that when his mind wandered in other directions than Keith, a certain memory of a bouncy curly ponytail attached to a certain broody blonde in a cute cheerleader outfit kept popping up. Of them winning the championship and balloons and all the incessant cheering faded into the background and she was all there was. _Peyton_. He sighs and rolls his neck to ease some of the tension forming at the base of his spine.

"Come in," he calls out at the soft knocking at his bedroom door. Karen pokes her head in and smiles at her son. "Hey Mom."

Karen enters and helps Lucas with his tie and smoothes out the collar of his shirt. She strokes his cheek and smiles sadly at him. "Keith is here with you today. You know that right?"

He leans his forehead against hers before straightening out again. He swallows the lump that had just formed in his throat and nods. "I know. I do, but I would rather hear his voice than try to comfort myself with that. The limo called and they should be here in about 10 minutes to head out to church."

Karen nods and stops before letting herself out. She turns to her son who catches her staring through the mirror. He turns to her as he puts his tuxedo jacket on. "You okay Ma?"

"I love you Lucas James Scott and I only wish the greatest happiness for you and Lily. And today is supposed to be the happiest day in your life, yet when I look at you beautiful boy I see sadness lingering in your eyes and I think it's because of Peyton and not Keith."

He swallows and tries to shrug her off. "Mom, don't. I miss Keith and he should be here as I marry Lindsey. He should be here watching and marveling at how big Lily is getting. It's not about Peyton at all."

Karen kisses his cheek, "I've seen Lindsey engagement ring Luke. I hope you're being honest with her and yourself." She walks out, closing the door behind her as Luke leans on his dresser, head falling forward. He looks up when he hears the limo honking.

**Elsewhere - - -**

Brooke tentatively knocks on Peyton's door before opening it. Peyton sits on the bed listlessly gazing out of the window in her undergarments. "Hey P. Sawyer, you okay?"

Peyton turns to her and nods, even managing a smile. "I am. That's why I am sitting here in utter bewilderment. A few months ago, hell a few weeks ago and I couldn't imagine my life without Lucas. I came back to Tree Hill to try to recapture what I thought never really died and it has been a ridiculous emotional roller coaster since then. Finally meeting Lindsey and finding out she really is a sweet girl. The whole library incident. The ring fiasco. Almost kisses and shouting matches and then Jake shows up."

"Sexy billowing hair dad." Brooke smiles as she says it because this past week is the happiest she's seen Peyton since they came back to Tree Hill.

Peyton nods and stares at the strip of pictures she, Jake and Jenny took in a photo booth on the pier. Making silly faces and even one of her and Jenny kissing Jake. They took them two days ago and she felt at peace. She's been in such a happy bubble since that night at her office. "Sexy billowing hair dad for sure. Between his dad's surgery, Anna's appointments and him and Hales recording the song, you would think that there would be no us in the mix. But that's so not the case. We still managed to take Jenny out for some meals, the park and somehow fit in a quickie in some hospital storage room _General Hospital_ style."

Brooke's mouth drops open. "Wow. Double fucking wow! I am so jealous that I just might have to kill you right now."

Peyton laughs. "And in this incredibly wonderful week I forgot that the Lucas was marrying someone who isn't me. And I'm sitting here realizing that it's time to say goodbye. For good."

Brooke drapes an arm around Peyton's bare shoulders. "That's all fine and dandy but you might want to put some clothes on then. Pretty sure bra and boyshorts isn't church appropriate."

Peyton nods and stands to get dressed. Brooke watches for a moment before rising. She turns to her best friend and says, "I sure am proud of you Peyton." Peyton pauses and stares at Brooke. "You grew up."

And with that final Brooke comment saunters off to finish getting Anna ready. Peyton smiles at her retreating back and takes the dress Brooke designed for her. _Just because you're not the bride doesn't mean you can't be the hottest chick there, well next to me, the second hottest. _Peyton smiles at that memory of yesterday morning when Brooke presented her with the dress. She takes it off the hanger and steps into it. She zips it up and stares at her reflection in her mirror. It was strapless and the bodice and full skirt were beautifully embroidered. Peyton smiles at her reflection and can't wait until Jake sees her in it. _Jake, not Luke_. Maybe the time for letting go had finally arrived. She was apprehensive, happy, nervous all at the same time. It was hard to say goodbye, without actually saying goodbye. She has loved Luke for such a long time that it has become a part of her persona. _Hello, I'm Peyton Sawyer, 22 years old, have my own record label and am in love with Lucas Scott._ She could have printed that on her business cards. She smiles as she fusses a bit with her hair and starts with her make up when her cell goes off.

She sees Jake's name on the caller ID and puts her eyeliner down. "Hey you."

Jake smiles into the phone and drops his tie, if he could call it that, on his bed. "Hey. Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you and we'll see you at church. Bye."

Peyton says goodbye and remembers their talk last night while they were at the Rivercourt.

_She watches as Jake throws a couple of lay ups and smiles at him, trying to lighten his somber mood. He has been distant since they took his dad home. His mom had practically thrown them out of the house after a few hours, telling them to go out and act like young people. They drove around for a while, his mood becoming more and more sullen. She was trying to give him space but she knew what was triggering his bad mood. He finally pulled onto the grass and grabbed his ball from the trunk, not saying a word to Peyton as he walked onto the court._

_Peyton sits on one of the picnic tables and watched as he worked out some of his frustration, trying to keep her own temper at bay. He finally, finally looks her way and lets the ball roll away after his last free-throw. He walks towards her and she waits. He kneels on the bench and grabs her waist to pull her towards him. She waits. He grabs her face, pushing her hair out of her face and she says nothing. He looks into her eyes and she waits. He molds his mouth against hers and she is powerless against the onslaught of his mouth on hers. His tongue battles hers and their frustration is evident. He pushes her back onto the picnic table as his hands work their way under her t-shirt. When his hands engulf her breasts, she moans against him, gyrating her pelvis against his. He knows he is being callous but she takes it. He pinches her nipples through the satin of her bra as he attacks the side of her neck. God, he wishes he could make her his for always._

_He growls low in his throat as he pushes her skirt around her waist, desperate to feel her, all of her. He unbuckles his jeans as Peyton wraps her legs around his waist. She nips at his jaw as he pulls his dick out of his boxers while trying to shove them down with the other hand. Peyton moves to reach for her purse and finds a condom and hands it to him wordlessly. He slips it on, moves her panties to the side and rams into her in one mighty thrust. She whimpers and sits up, not caring if she gets a splinter in the ass. They kiss as he pounds into her. She shimmies closer to the edge so he could __stand and each movement of his is more powerful than the previous, yet she knew he was holding a part of himself back. She places her hands on his chest to steady him and when he looks into her eyes she gently strokes his cheek with one finger. "I'm here with you now and I will be there with you tomorrow and the day after. You."_

_His eyes water as he nods and he goes back to kissing her, his one hand finding her clit while the other cups her ass so he can go even deeper. Her moans get louder as his mouth swallows them. Her nails scratch his back as they go lower and lower finding their way under his jeans and boxers. She grabs his ass to push him deeper and as he pounds her pussy now, she leans back staring into his eyes. _

_He swallows as he watches her let go and as he slams into her one final time, he follows falling on top of her, speaking into the crook of her neck. "I love you," he manages to moan but it gets lost in the crook of her neck. She shifts under his weight and he rights himself, tenderly lowering her skirt and smoothing it out. He zips up his jeans, and runs his hands along her arms as he leans forward, his forehead touching hers for a moment. He moves back and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear._

"_I'm sorry." She smiles and nods, looking towards the water. He uses one hand to make her look at him. "I'm sorry for not having faith in you and in us. This," he gestures with his other arm and grins, "was kind of cool so I can't really be sorry for it."_

"_Ugh…" She playfully shoves him and then throws her arms around his neck, forcing him to kneel again on the bench. "I know what tomorrow, well what later is, and I need you to know that it's you, you and just you, ok?"_

_He nods and kisses her softly and holds her. They stay there until 1 in the morning and he drives her home. She turned to him then and was honest, "I need you to know that his wedding is me saying goodbye to who we were, what we shared and what we could have been." She pauses and licks her lips. "But it is goodbye."_

_He leaned over and kissed her at that moment, holding her hands in his. "Goodnight Peyton. I'll see you later."_

Peyton shakes her head and screws on the cap to her MAC gloss. "I'm ready." She slides her feet into her heels and grabs her purse, opening her bedroom door calling out for Brooke.

**The Limo - - -**

Lucas stares aimlessly out the window, his fingers clenched together in a tight fist. They drive past the Rivercourt and he rolls down the window, sticking his hand out and letting go. "I'll be seeing you," he barely whispers as the snapshot of him and Peyton blows away in the breeze.


	15. Tailgating

_Sorry it's taken me so long to update but as of late I have found inspiration sorely lacking. I think this one here is close to wrapping up but please enjoy it nonetheless. I still want Jake back on my show regardless of what Bryan Greenberg might have said. And even happier news that chick that plays Lindsey is the new ADA on Law and Order: SVU. So Lucas cannot be marrying her. Yippee for the small things in life…Kristy_

Peyton and Brooke pull up behind Skillz' Tahoe. The rest of the crew was chilling in the back as his rear door was open. Peyton turns off the car, steps out, grabbing her bag and sweater. She smiles at Skillz, Millie and Mouth and sits on the hood of her car as Brooke takes Anna out of the car seat. Skillz gives her the nod and opens the cooler by his feet handing her a can of beer that she accepts with a laugh. Brooke makes her way over and rolls her eyes. "Classy boys."

Skills shrugs and eyes Peyton. "So P. Sawyer, how we going to do this?" At her bewildered look he continues, "You going to just wait until the priest gets to that who here objects part of the festivities or you going to just roll on up in that church and let Lucas know, while Linds is great, you are motherfucking Peyton Sawyer. Or maybe just knock him out cold? I'm down for whatever Sawyer. That's how I roll."

Peyton laughs again and shakes her head. She extends her fist outward and it meets with Skillz in that oh so adorable thug way that makes her glad she's here with her friends, correction, her family. "Thanks Skillz but I really don't think that's going to be necessary."

Brooke smiles warmly at her best friend. Skillz scowls but shrugs. "All right Peyton but know this. I got your back. So what's with this change of heart? Because we all know that you came back to Tree Hill for one reason and one reason only…Lucas motherfucking Scott." Skillz wait for her answer and looks past her at the approaching couple getting an all knowing smile on his face. Peyton turns her head and looks back at Skillz with her own Kool-Aid grin. "I see."

Jake and Jenny approach the small group. Hellos and kisses are exchanged and Jenny hugs Peyton careful to hop back onto the sidewalk before her father can reprimand her. She then focuses all her attention on Anna who coos and giggles for the little girl. Jake makes his way to Peyton standing in front of her forcing her to look up at him, the whole world fading away so it was only the two of them.

"Hey." Such a simple greeting yet in his eyes there was so much more he wanted to say. He leans down, planting his hands on either side of her, leaving her no choice but to offer her mouth to him.

Millicent smiles and grabs Mouth's hand so they can make their way inside. Skillz nods as he murmurs, "Damnnn, well that's good enough reason for me." He stands and takes Jenny's hand and escorts Brooke and Anna inside.

Jake and Peyton break apart and he leans his forehead against hers, sighing. She giggles and looks past him noticing that they were alone. "Skillz took Jenny." At her questioning look, he explains. "I heard him ask for her hand as she was saying something about Daddy kissing Peyton like a princess. So how about it? Want to be my princess?"

He straightens and holds out his hand which she doesn't take. He lets it drop to his side and she smiles. "I need a minute. I'll meet you guys inside. Make sure to save me a seat." Jake nods stepping onto the sidewalk. She smiles at his retreating back and calls out his name. He turns and she blows him a kiss making him laugh. "You, remember it's you and it's us."

He nods and turns towards the church leaving Peyton alone on the hood of her car looking at the church thoughtfully. She remembers driving by after she found out about Lucas' engagement. She stopped her car and imagined her coming out beside him in a beautiful wedding dress, her hair up and flowers in one hand as the other was linked with Lucas'. She couldn't even conjure that image into her mind anymore and realizes that she didn't want to. Yes, she still loved Lucas, she forever will, but she was no longer in love with him. He was a different man from the Lucas she had pledged her heart to. And more importantly she was a different Peyton.

She sighs and rises, stretching, clutching her small purse in her hand. She sees someone in the corner of her eye and locks gazes with Lindsey. She swallows at her, a vision splendid in white fluff and although Peyton knows deep in her heart of hearts she was done with Lucas, it was still a quick shot to the stomach. She manages a small wave and rushes off into church.

Lindsey smiles, happy that she found her prince but a bit sad for the Lucas and Peyton that had helped her fall in love with L:uke in the first place. His second book had been just as riveting and even though her soon to be husband denied it being a love story, there was no way to describe it. She takes in a deep breath and smoothes down her dress and notices that Peyton had left her sweater on the hood of her car.

She snickers and heads over to retrieve it. She had to walk around to the driver's side to fetch it and when she picks it up her gaze happens to land on the single word that jars her out of her fairytale wonderland: _Comet._


	16. The Wedding, Well Almost

Peyton makes her way inside. Searching for Jake and smiles when she hears Jenny call out her name as Jake tries to shush her. She walks down the aisle and feels _his_ eyes on hers. Her step falters a bit as she looks to the side and locks eyes with Lucas. The world stops for a moment until Peyton manages a tentative smile and limp wave. He acknowledges it with a curt nod as she hastily makes it to the pew, stepping over Jenny to sit. She takes in a deep breath and releases it slowly, turning to Jake. He is watching her and she knows that her behavior is making him a bit anxious, but it cannot be helped. Yes, she was ready to move forward but he had to understand that this was Lucas, Luke, her Broody, Blondie that was getting married and it was a bit surreal. She places her hand over his and gives it a small squeeze. She leans over and places a gentle kiss on his lips.

"Thank you for being understanding and giving me the space and time that I needed today. You are truly too many things Jake Jagielski." Her words cause a small flush to creep along his cheeks.

He whispers in her ear, "I'm also a great lay." He leans back against the bench and smirks as Peyton rolls her eyes."Just had to throw that in there."

"You going to stop staring at her bro? Because it might make the ceremony a bit difficult as the priest asks if you're ready to take Lindsey as your wife and you pull a Ross and say Peyton instead." Nathan looks on as his brother finally manages to tear his eyes away from Peyton and Jake.

Lucas frowns at his brother and rises from the bench he had been sitting on. He opens his mouth to say something but stops as his mother approaches. Karen smiles at him. "She's ready. It's time Lucas."

Lucas watches as she walks to her seat by Andy. He looks at his brother who offers him a smile. "It was just a big, I don't know, shock? Delirious hallucination to see her walk down that aisle right now. I saw her in white and everyone else faded out until it was her alone."

Nathan shakes his head sadly, "Lu…"

Lucas cuts him off, "It's ok little brother. I said my goodbyes to Peyton and the ghosts of our past earlier. Let's do this." They make their way to their respective places in front of the priest who greets Lucas warmly. The music swells and fills the small chapel as everyone turns to watch Lily make her way down the aisle dropping white rose petals. Lucas watches as they flutter slowly to the floor, his little sister looking precious in the dress Brooke made. Then he watches as his best friend, sister, makes her way down the aisle. She gives Lucas a radiant smile and then only has eyes for her husband. Lucas turns to look at Nathan and sees the same radiance in his face.

The bride's march starts and everyone stands turning to the back of the church to watch Lindsey become Lucas' wife. The doors open and she seems to glide down looking regal in her dress. She only has Lucas in her sights. Lucas swears she's a vision sent straight from heaven. He feels reaasured that it's Lindsey who he sees and not Peyton.

She takes her place by him and everyone sits. Peyton and Jake hold hands as the priest speaks of love and family and the importance of honesty and respect in relationships. He then asks for Lindsey and Luke to face one another. They do and take each other's hands. Lucas smiles at his bride whose love for him is all over her face.

"Do you Lucas Scott take Lindsey Strauss to be your lawfully wedded wife? Through all the good times to come and the bad that may burden your love? Through sickness, and in health? For richer or poorer? Til death do you part?"

Lucas flashes a brilliant smile as he says, "I do."

Jake watches as a lone tear slides down Peyton's right cheek. He hears her whisper, "Goodbye." He squeezes her hand in reassurance now and she turns to him, more beautiful than ever and smiles.

He turns his attention back to the ceremony as the priest asks Lindsey the same vows. A perplexed look falls upon her face and she tilts her head as if considering something. Then she sighs and when she opens her mouth it's not what one expects to hear. "A comet."

Lucas gives off a slight laugh and turns to the priest, "Give us a quick moment Father." Then he turns his attention back to his bride and brings her hands to his lips, pressing his lips to her open palms. "Linds, sweetie, right now is not the best time to get into a discussion or critique of my book." A murmur of hushed laughter can be heard through the crowd.

She looks away toward the crowd and when her eyes fall upon Peyton. Lucas follows with his own eyes and turns his head back to Lindsey, panic in his eyes. "Baby don't…you know that it's…"

Lindsey pulls free from his vice grip and smoothes out the skirt of her dress staring at Luke sadly. "When did you first speak to Peyton?"

He shakes his head, "Damn it Lindsey, don't do this now!"

She takes a deep breath and waits. It seems an eternity has passed but it's only been seconds. "When did you..?"

He wipes at his eyes and looks at Lindsey. "The day her car broke down and Keith sent me to go tow it."

Lindsey swallows, knowing what the answer was going to be but forces herself to ask anyway. She needs to hear him say it. "What type of car was it Lucas?" He looks away, towards his mother but she silently implores him to answer. "Lucas, please."

He barely manages to choke out the words. "A comet."

Lindsey chokes back the bile that she feels burning her throat. "A comet? God Lucas, why are we even here?" She laughs bitterly turning solemn. "I told you it was a love story Luke."

He grabs her face in his hands and forces her to look at him. "It's just a story. Please baby don't try to make it…"

She pushes his hands away and smiles, despondently. "The boy saw the comet and he felt as though his life had meaning. And when it went away, he waited his entire life for it to come back to him. It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life: direction, beauty, meaning. There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them. But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him, and his world would be whole again... And his belief in God and love and art would be re-awakened in his heart." She glances at Peyton again, who is visibly uncomfortable and turns back to Lucas. "A comet, Luke. Peyton, Lucas. It's an epic love story Luke and it's just not ours. I can't do this."

With those final words she slips off her engagement ring, Peyton's ring truly, letting it fall to the floor and runs from the altar as Lucas stares shell-shocked at what just happened. He collapses onto the steps as a collective gasp goes through the church. Nathan rushes to his side, unsure of what to say as Haley looks over to Peyton who was as white as Christmas snow.


	17. Blasphemy

The church is quiet as the guests are unsure of what to do. Slowly they rise and start to filter out as Lucas stares blindly down the aisle. Brooke leans over and locks eyes with Peyton who shrugs as Jake tries really hard not to panic at the mess that is happening in the church. People are whispering and as they pass Peyton, there are open looks of curiosity as well as glares from friends and family of Lindsey. Peyton just sits ramrod straight as Jake tries to answer some of Jenny's questions.

"Baby I don't know why she ran out like that." Jake answers his daughter who was fidgeting in her seat. The crowd had mostly dispersed and Anna starts to get restless.

Brooke sighs and starts to get up. Jenny follows her lead which means that Jake rises also. Peyton glances at them and starts to move when he calls out her name.

"Peyton." The murmurs that had been going on around them stop. His voice comes out in a croak and he finally stands and looks at Peyton. Haley walks hurriedly to usher the last remaining stragglers out of the church, closing the door behind them. There didn't have to be an audience for whatever was going to come next. Nathan looks unsure if he should hold Lucas back and finally steps to the side allowing his brother to approach the blonde.

His steps are measured and Brooke bites her lip when she sees the mother-of-God-pissed-off look in Jake's eyes. She grabs Anna's diaper bag and tells Jenny to come wait outside with her. Jenny looks at her father but seems unsure when she notes the anger present on his face. He takes a deep breath and puts a false smile on his face. "It's okay baby. Go with Brooke. I'll be right out."

Peyton remains seated. She doesn't know what to do and wishes that this wasn't happening. That Lindsey had said yes and everyone was on their way to the reception. She steals a quick glance at Jake who seems to be quivering with fury. She rises and he just gapes at her. "What are you doing?"

She places a hand on his shoulder hoping to calm him. "He's hurting Jake. She left him. Just left him at the altar and he's hurt. I just want to…"

Jake explodes, "Fuck that Peyton! He's hurt? He's hurt because his bride to be realized that this fool never stopped loving you." He takes in a quick breath and sees Peyton's shocked expression. He tries to rein in his anger and lowers his voice. "Sorry." The he takes a quick look and the altar and crosses himself. "Sorry God. Really. Peyton you don't have to save him or whatever it is you think you owe him as homage to your past."

Peyton opens her mouth to speak but says nothing as Lucas is now only a few pews away. She looks beseechingly at Jake. Praying that he would understand that she only wanted to help but was he right? Did she obligated to help Lucas sort out the mess of his life? Probably. She did feel a bit responsible and when Lindsey had quoted his book, she could feel every single eye turn to her in that moment. Haley makes her down the aisle to her husband knowing full well that she didn't want to be here for this. This mess that has been the Lucas Peyton show since high school. She reaches Nathan who takes her hand in his. She looks at the three individuals in the middle of the church and sighs. "It wasn't suppose to be this way."

Nathan shrugs and watches as Lucas finally reaches Peyton who has made her way into the aisle. "Damn it." They exit through the priest's side door into the rectory.

Lucas stares at Peyton and Jake just rolls his eyes and stands behind her. The three stand there; quiet, unsure as how to proceed. Lucas clears his throat and looks at Jake. "I need a moment with Peyton."

"No." Jake clenches his fists at his side to keep his temper at bay. "No. Are you kidding me right now?"

"Jake, please…" Peyton turns to him and he sighs.

"Lindsey was right. You are my comet. The light that comes and breaks up the darkness of my heart. I haven't been the same man or person since I left you in that hotel room in L.A." Lucas takes a step closer and Peyton closes her eyes and turns back to Lucas.

"Luke you can't do this. Not now. She was yours and you let her leave. You should have cha…"

"I cannot believe this shit." The two blondes turn as Jake loosens his tie and throws it on the pew in disgust. "I cannot believe that you're going to confess your love and that you," he points as Peyton with barely veiled anger. "are just going to let him jump back into your life, your heart like this. He lied to Lindsey and even though he knew that his stupid ass was still in love with you, he proposed to her. He lied to you about what he feels for you since you stepped off that plane and touched the pavement. You're just going to go back into this dumb fucking cycle."

Lucas takes a step forward, "Yo bro, you might want to relax. We're in church in case it has slipped your mind."

Jake snorts and takes a step closer to Lucas. "I caught that _bro_ when the invite said wedding. It's the only reason I haven't launched my fist into your face." He shakes his head and laughs mirthlessly. "I'm done. I am done. Peyton good luck to you and this idiot, but I deserve someone who is happy with just me and Jenny and somehow we just never seem to be enough for you. I am tired of loving someone who will never be mine entirely. You think I would have learned after Savannah, but guess I'm a bigger ass than I thought."

He turns on his heel and starts to walk away with Peyton struck dumb. She feels her heart breaking, shattering in her chest and watches as Jake gets closer and closer to the vestibule doors. _He loves me._ She lets that wash over her and prays it's not too late. "Stop." It comes out strangled and she bats Lucas' hand away as he tries to touch her. She takes a step away from him and towards Jake. "Stop!! Jake, I love you."

The retreating figure of Jake stops. Peyton feels her chest loosen a bit and she takes another step forward but stops when Jake turns around, tears in his eyes. "I wish I could believe that Peyton. I really do. I wish that loving me was enough for you but somehow I think that the legacy of Lucas and Peyton is just something I can't compete with."

Then he turns back around, opens the door and walks out. Out of her life. And Peyton falls to the floor and when the doors shut close after him, Lucas reaches down for her. She limply gets to her feet and turns to look at Lucas. She rears back and slaps him across the face. "I'm not who you want. You want a ghost of me and I'm sorry I'm not that woman anymore. He's right. I was just willing to fall in line and let you back in. And I can't. Not this time. You might not be able to get Lindsey back but I'm not willing to let Jake walk away this time. Or push me away. I'm done with this." She presses her lips against Lucas' for a gentle but quick kiss. "This is our goodbye Luke."

He wipes away the tears on his cheek and nods, "I know." Then he glances at the doors and back at her. "I'm sorry."

She shakes her head. "You don't have to be. He's my comet Luke and there's no way in hell I'm letting him go. Him and Jenny are my light." She smiles when she knows in her heart of hearts that it's true. No more second-guessing herself. Jake was it for her. Now she only had to convince him. She picks up her purse and walks out of the church knowing she had to get her family back.

_I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. I kind of have been lacking inspiration for this fic. I guess I'll just wait to see what you guys say._


	18. The World Keeps Falling

_Ok so it seems that some felt the last chapter might have been a tad rushed but I was thinking along the lines that hey she bounces, he sits and the church starts to clear out after a few stony quiet uncomfortable minutes. By the time the last of them leave, I figure a good 20 to 30 minutes have past. And I was hoping that my readers realized Luke ha__s still been in love with Peyton so his proclamation in church was sort of his eureka moment. Linds knew, Nathan and Hales knew, Karen knew and it was it out there. So yeah timing might have been off but that's what makes for drama. I hope this cleared that all up and on with the show…Kristy_

Peyton rushes out of the church and doesn't see Jake or Jenny or his car. Brooke waits at the bottom of the stairs holding a now sleeping Anna. Peyton rushes down asking, "Where is Jake and where is Jenny?"

Brooke asks her own questions at the same time, "What the hell happened? Did Jake punch Luke because that would so have just been the topper on a sucky ass day?"

They both pause and Brooke decides to answer first since Peyton seems to be completely unnerved. "Jake came out a few minutes ago, more pissed than I have ever imagined he could even get. Got in his stang and drove off after I let him know that Skillz took Jenny and Jamie back to Nathan's and Hale's place."

Brooke watches as Peyton tries calling Jake on his cell. She groans in frustration and shoves the phone into her purse. "He's not answering and I'm not all that shocked. God, Brooke this is a mess. Ugh! Luke comes down the aisle and tells me in front of Jake that I am his comet and blah blah blah. I try to cut him off but Jake's explosion does that for me. I swear they were going to come to blows but Jake stomps off telling me that he deserves better. That Jenny deserves more and you know what? He's fucking absolutely right. I think that I've been holding back with Jake because of Lucas. It's stupid and it was wrong because yeah I'll always love Lucas but I'm not in love with him and I don't think I have…"

"Shut up!" Brooke hissed at Peyton's bewilderment. "I am so not who you should be proclaiming this all too. I know all this already. You need to…" But the sirens blazing down the street drown her out.

Peyton gets this drop in her stomach and she stares as the ambulance streaks past them. She takes out her cell again and gets Jake's voicemail. She asks Brooke, "Which way did Jake drive off in?"

Brooke nods in the direction of the sirens and Peyton takes off, kicking off her heels. "Peyton, stop!! You don't know where that is…hush baby, hush. Peyton!" Brooke yells as Peyton runs down the block. Brooke sighs she sees a plume of black smoke in the air and more sirens could be heard in the distance.

Peyton runs barefoot, not caring about the gravel cutting up her feet. She tries to quell down the fear that has enveloped her entire being. She should just relax. _Brooke's right. I mean how absolutely random would that have to be for it to be Jake? _She turns on Washington and gasps almost falling to the floor. All she can see are fire trucks, police cruisers, a couple of ambulances and the wreckage of what used to be Jake's car and a SUV of some type. "Jake!!"

She runs forward and tries to see where he is. She sees some banged up guy in the back of one of the ambulances and frantically tries to find Jake. She shrugs off an officer who intercepts her and asks what she is doing. He grabs a hold of her elbow and she shoves at him. "Leave me alone! I need to find Jake. Jake!!" She calls out as the officer grabs her again. She turns to him with utter desperation in her eyes. The officer sighs because he has seen this look before. He asks her calmly who she is looking for. "Jake Jagielski. The owner and driver of that car that used to be a mus…Are those the jaws of life? Is he still in there? Oh my God, Jake!"

The officer envelops her in a bear hug that lifts her off the ground. She struggles in his arms as the firefighters place the contraption on the driver's side of the door. She stops and becomes limp. The officer loosens his hold on her, trying to gather some information on Jake. Peyton answers mutely as her eyes remain transfixed on what was happening a mere 4 feet away from her. The man she loves, who she stupidly kept at arm's length was trapped inside a crumpled mass of melted heavy metal. That car had no airbags and she wonders if in his haste he had even put his seatbelt on. The tears come forth in a flood and she hugs herself ignoring the police officer. She barely hears someone calling her name and finds herself in Brooke's arms.

Brooke strokes Peyton's hair as they stand there watching a piece of the top of the mustang being hauled off by a truck that had just arrived on scene. It seemed to be taking an eternity to get Jake out of the car. That couldn't be good. Peyton wipes her eyes and asks Brooke where Anna was. "After you raced off, Hales and Nathan came out. I got into the car with them and drove off in the way of smoke. I figured we would run into you walking back and give you a lift but the closer and closer we got…" Brooke's voice trails off as they get their first glimpse of Jake. She can hear Peyton's cry of anguish. There was so much blood. She keeps talking hoping that her rambling would give Peyton something to focus on. "Umm, so I got out of the car and sent Hales and Nathan to Jake's parents' house. We all figured it would be better for his dad if they heard it from one of us and Nathan will drive them to the hospital. Oh sweetie, it's going to be okay."

They had managed to lift off another piece of the windshield and Brooke turns to the officer that had been restraining Peyton previously. "What happened?"

The officer sighs and nods in the direction of the man in the ambulance. "Seems that fellow had a little bit too much to drink and this here fellow, Jake, just happened to turn this corner…" He trails off as the firefighters start yelling and all progress halts as a paramedic rushes forward.

Peyton scrambles out of Brooke's arms. "What's wrong? What's happening?" She races to the front of the car. She nearly faints as she sees a huge piece of metal sticking out of Jake's belly.

_Yeah I think that a whole lot of people didn't think that Lucas' wedding day was going to wind up like this. _


	19. Ouch, That Hurts

_Blackness surrounds her. She's deaf and there is blackness. She is drowning in it and she's trying, desperately, to claw her way out of it but she's can't. She's flailing about and can't touch the ground. Blackness, it's all around her. She can't hear a thing except for the roaring in her ears as if waves are crashing, pounding against her skull. Then she sees a glimmer of light, a possibility and hears, very faintly, her name. It sounds like a whisper. "Peyton…"_

Brooke hauls her hand back and slaps Peyton across her face, bringing tears to the blonde one's eyes. "God damn it Peyton, you come back to me right now or I will slap you again!" Brooke waits a moment and sees the glassy look start to fade from Peyton's eyes. "That's right P. Sawyer, you come back now."

Peyton slides a limp hand across her cheek and looks at Brooke with unholy terror in her eyes. She then looks past Brooke and the scene unfolding a few feet away and when she sees that fucking rod sticking out of Jake, she sobs a low guttural sound and falls to her knees. "Jake. Jake. Jake, please."

She feels Brooke's hands on her, trying to lift her and she scrambles to her feet as Brooke steps in between her and the bedlam taking place on the street. "Brooke…" Her voice breaks on a moan.

Brooke gets a steely eyed look and shakes her head no. She grabs Peyton's shoulders and gives a hard shake. "Don't you dare flake out on him now. You need to keep it together."

Peyton nods and gains strength from Brooke and stands a bit more erect. She bites her lip and watches as the paramedics storm Jake on any available side where there wasn't a firefighter or cop. She could hear the steady whir of a machine that she realizes is a saw. She takes one of Brooke's hands in hers and squeezes. They listen to what is happening to Jake since their view is heavily obstructed.

"_Jim, grab his head and let's get that brace on stat!"_

"_Keep it steady McMullin, try to cut that piece a bit shorter."_

"_Motherfucker, that rod has him wedged tight to the seat! We can't pull it out."_

"_We're going to need to cut away at the seat so we can lift him out."_

"_Slowly guys, nice and slow."_

It sounded like an episode of _Grey's Anatomy_ or _ER_. Peyton just squeezed Brooke's hand harder and her BFF squeezes back letting her know she's not alone in this. Then her heart jumps into her throat.

"_Ouch man. Oh fuck that shouldn't be there, should it?"_

"Jake!" Peyton lets go of Brooke's hand and somehow manages to find a small opening to squash herself into. His eyes flutter and she can see he's trying hard to stay in the present. She reaches out and grasps his hand in hers and he disjointedly looks at her through heavily hooded eyes. "I'm here. I'm here and you need to stay awake." She fears that if his eyes close again they would never reopen.

"Peyt? Wha…?:" His eyes glaze over and then his body jerks as he lets forth a stream of obscenities as the firefighter starts to move the seat back to try to cut the metal away from it. Peyton sees the grimace of pain on his face and tears spring into her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Jake. This is my all fault. I was so stu…"

He cuts her off. "What? No Peyton, this was…I was…" He never finishes his sentence as his eyes roll back and all Peyton sees are the whites of his eyes. A paramedic shoves her aside and tries to staunch the river of blood that seems to gushing out around the piece of metal. She bites her lip as Brooke helps her to her feet. They finally got him free of the seat but they couldn't remove the pipe just yet or he would die on the spot. She watches helplessly as they load him onto a gurney with a paramedic straddling him, applying pressure to the wound. They close the doors and Brooke ushers her to a waiting squad car so they can get to the hospital.

_Sorry it's short. I have kind of have been suffering from writer's block. And I don't get to watch OTH in its entirety anymore because Heroes is on at the same time and I flove me some Peter. But I now have an inkling of what I want to happen and I have to do a little research…Kristy_


	20. The ER

**_Sorry, really what else could I possibly say? Forgive me yet?...Kristy_**

Peyton is hardly aware of being shoved inside a waiting squad car. Brooke holds her hand and squeezes it as the car races to the hospital. Peyton looks shell-shocked and turns to Brooke. "Oh my God, what if…what am I going to tell his parents? I should go and…"

Brooke shakes her head. "I got it covered P. Sawyer. Remember? I told you Hales and Nathan were on their way to tell them. Hales is going back to her place to watch the kids and so Jenny doesn't have to be at the hospital yet. Not til we know more. Oh sweetie, you can let go now."

Peyton shakes her head, although the tears were on the verge of cascading down her face. She bites her lip hard enough to draw blood. To focus on that quick jolt of pain. "No. Not now. Oh Brooke, what am I going to say to his parents? It's all my fucking fault."

Brooke furrows her brow, knowing it's useless to argue. She takes in a deep breath instead and continues to stroke Peyton's hand.

**The ER - - -**

Peyton and Brooke rush in and Brooke notices Peyton limping slightly. _Her feet must be cut up._ She bites her tongue because she knows it would be useless to suggest for her to get checked out. All Peyton wants is Jake; alive in one piece.

Peyton rushes to the triage nurse. "Jake Jagielski? Where is he?"

The nurse sees the frantic look in the blonde one's eyes. She looks at her chart. She frowns which doesn't go unnoticed by the two young women. "He just came in less than three minutes ago and straight into the OR. Look, sweetie, I really can't give you more than that unless your immediate family. I'm sorry."

Brooke steps up and offers her killer business don't-mess-with-me smile. "Ma'am, she's his girlfriend and she's quite upset which I'm sure you can understand. Surely, you can give us a little more than that."

The nurse looks behind her to make sure her supervisor wasn't around as Peyton struggles to stay on her feet. They were burning and as she quickly glances down, she sees she's standing in a small puddle of her own blood. "It doesn't look good." She sees Peyton start to wobble on her feet. "But he has the best trauma surgeon in there with him right now. Miss, are you all right?"

Brooke looks at Peyton and gasps when she sees the blood pooling by her feet. "Goddamn it." She turns to the nurse. "She ran after Jake and when I found her she was barefoot among all that wreckage. I think she should get checked out."

Peyton finds her voice. "No. No!! Brooke I am not leaving until we hear word about Jake." Peyton feels her chest constricting and Brooke opens her mouth to speak but the nurse beats her to it.

"Miss, you're bleeding all over my floor. And there won't be news to tell for quite some time. Just step into that open curtain right there and I'll take a quick look okay?"

Peyton pushes her hair back and looks at her blackened hands. She mutely nods and follows the nurse. She hops up on the bed, grimacing slightly. She realizes how dirty and tore up her dress is. She nurse gets saline and some other various solutions. She rummages in the cart next to her and gets out alcohol pads and Peyton knows what is to follows will be less than enjoyable. The nurse gets out some pads and soaks them with saline to rinse off Peyton's feet. The grime and blood that wash off drip into a bedpan on the nurse's lap. She then opens up some of the alcohol pads and gingerly starts to wipe at Peyton's feet causing her to flinch and shrink away from her.

The nurse sighs. "You have some gravel embedded into your skin and it's going to take tweezers to get them all out. Then your feet w…where are you going?"

Peyton jumps off the table and rushes into the arms of Mrs. Jagielski without falling on her face. Mrs. Jagielski embraces her and takes a step back to look at her. Then she peers over her shoulder at the trail of blood. "Where's Jake?"

Peyton found it difficult to speak so Brooke did it for her. "He's in surgery. He hasn't been here for more than ten minutes. It's too early to know anything. I was getting Peyton cleaned up. I don't know how much you know…"

The older, married couple look at one another and steal a quick glance at Peyton. "We know enough. Nathan told us on the ride over. I need to speak...thank you Phillip." Mrs. Jagielski fiddles with the strap of her purse. "Oh how did this happen? My baby."

Peyton cannot stop the flood of tears that fall from eyes, blurring my vision. "Mrs. Jagielski I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let him. I should have told him…"

"You stop that right now." The steel in her voice gives Peyton pause. "Now is not the time for this. He needs more than that."

Peyton nods as Mr. Jagielski approaches. "He's on the third floor. Peyton, why don't you get cleaned up and then come on up." She sees the weariness in his eyes. "We'll be waiting."

Peyton nods as Brooke leads her back to the nurse.

**Third Floor, 40 minutes Later- - - **

Brooke and Peyton step off the elevator and see Mr. and Mrs. Jagielski sitting with Nathan in the waiting room. Peyton plays with the hem of her scrubs. The nurse had forced her to take a shower before bandaging her feet. Peyton knew it would have been futile to argue. Brooke motions with her head so Peyton can walk ahead. Brooke takes a seat next to Nathan while Peyton sits across from Jake's parents.

Mr. Jagielski speaks, "They came out a few minutes ago. They were able to staunch the flow of blood and are trying to keep him stable so they can operate to stop the bleeding. It was touch and go for a few minutes they said but she, Dr. Rasgotra, thinks he's young and healthy enough for that."

They all in silence for a few moments when Mrs. Jagielski starts to talk, "I'm sorry I snapped at you downstairs. Now hush up, Peyton and let me say my piece. What happened today is not your fault. I don't want to hear another word. It was foolishness on Lucas' part to stand up in church, in front of his family, friends and God, to marry that poor girl."

Peyton wipes at her eyes, "I shouldn't have gotten up to go talk to Lucas."

Mrs. Jagielski snorts, "Why not? He's your friend? He just got left at the alter. Were you planning on breaking my boy's heart and run off with Lucas?" Peyton's mouth drops open and Mrs. Jagielski takes pity on the broken young women in front of her and sighs. "My boy has been in love with you since sophomore year of high school. You went your separate ways and you went down to Savannah and I know my boy did the right thing sending you back up. The two of you weren't ready for one another just yet. Oh, he hurt. My baby cried for months after you left. And Jenny? She lost some of the light in her eyes, but I told him to be strong. I told him when love is strong and pure, nothing can stop it. Then he decided to move up here to close to Phillip and me and look who else returned to Tree Hill. And who wasn't married. The two of you seemed to just hop right back into the swing of things, so seamlessly. I know love, young lady. I know it well and I see it day after day in your eyes when you look at my son just like I see it in his when he looks at you." Peyton rises and sits besides Mrs. Jagielski and takes her hand. The older woman sniffles and squeezes. "So you just sit here and wait and don't you dare blame yourself anymore. Your love is not going to be deterred by this little hiccup. My boy is meant to be yours just like you're his. He's going to fight and come back to me, to Jenny and to you. Mark my words."

Peyton nods, while looking at Brooke who nods back. "You're right. He has to, especially since I'm carrying his child." Mrs. and Mr. Jagielski's eyes widen along with Nathan's. "Um, while they were checking me out, they took some of my blood and I'm only like a little less than two weeks along. I guess pregnancy tests are part of the blood work. I'm sorry to ju…"

Mrs. Jagielski gathers her in her arms, "Hush up now. If you dare apologize for carrying my grandbaby, I'll have to whoop you. And you call me Amelia from now on. We're family." Peyton nods and Mr. Jagielski rises to hug her also. Amelia looks at Brooke and Nathan. "That goes for the two of you also. We're family."

Brooke grabs Nathan's hand and they nod. Phillip sits by Amelia and he takes her hand. She looks down at their intertwined fingers and sighs, "Oh yes, our boy will be just fine. He has two babies that need their daddy."

_**Okay so I hope this was worth the wait. I now have some idea where I want this story to end up. Jake's mom is like Paula Deen. It's just how I picture her in my head. Thanks to Frannie 3 for kicking my ass to get my juices flowing. And about Peyton's pregnancy, I figure a hospital would run a pregnancy test just in case and if on General Hospital a woman, Skye, can have sex, get a deadly virus and wind up pregnant all in one night, anything is possible. **_


	21. Awakening

_**Do you really want excuses? I've been so into my Twilight fic that I lost a little steam, a whole lot actually, with this one. It will be wrapping up soon because I owe you guys at least that much for sticking through with me. For your literary pleasure…**_

Peyton curls up in the stiff, unforgiving chair and tries to stay asleep. The gentle humming of the various machines hooked up to Jake's body was a soothing lullaby but they broke her heart. To see such a virile young man full of hope and love just laying there utterly lifeless except for the faint rise and fall of his chest was appalling and it took all of Peyton's strength not to break down. She unconsciously rubs her flat stomach amazed at what was growing inside her.

"Ugh, what the fuck happened?" Peyton's eyes snap open as she stands, nearly tripping over her feet to stand over Jake. He licks his lips and gingerly rubs his eyes. They open and see Peyton and her heart falls when she sees the instant distrust that clouds them. He takes a painful breath and bites his lips at the pain. "Once again, what the fuck happened? Where's Jenny?"

Peyton smiles and brushes her fingers ever so softly against his cheek. "She's fine. Hales and Nathan have her over at their place. She's been there for the past three days."

He tries to sit up but is immediately dizzy and slumps back against the pillows. "Three days? I've been here for three days?" He looks around the small room filled with balloons, flowers and art by his daughter. He cringes knowing how terrified she must be and is glad that she's distracted by his friends' son. His gaze lands again on Peyton who is twisting the hem of her t-shirt in her fingers. "Where are my parents? Mouth? Anyone but you?"

Her mouth drops open as she takes a step back, her heart breaking at his words. He curses when he sees her reaction and realizes he had spoken aloud. "I'm sorry. It was my turn to sit with you but I'll…I'll just go and call your mom, I mean I need to anyway but oh, oh God…" Her eyes fill with tears as she walks around his bed to the phone on the nightstand. She tries to pick up the phone, only to have it slip from her fingers. _He hates me. He doesn't want me. He doesn't love me anymore._ Peyton wipes at her eyes, taking in a deep breath when she feels his hand on hers.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. It's just…I can't handle being here, Jenny being scared and us right now. My head feels like it's about to explode and you're killing me Peyton because all I see when I look at you is you in the aisle of that church, standing by him and letting me go." His voice cracks at the end and he looks away.

She drops the phone back on the cradle and grabs his head gently, forcing him to stare at into her eyes. "I didn't let you go. I ran after you. Barefoot with gravel cutting into my skin because those stupid heels were slowing me down. Then I saw your car and my heart stopped. I didn't let you go. I might not have been as fast as either one of us would have liked but I didn't let you go." She picks up the phone once more and dials speaking to his mother in low tones.

He hears the steel in her voice but it doesn't stop his heart from hurting at the memory of her standing when Lucas approached them. It didn't stop the hurt as he walked away from her and she told his back that she loved him. Love? Not enough. Not enough to keep him form leaving. He picks up a small blue device that is used to page the nurses and presses the red button. A nurse's voice crackles over the intercom. "I'm awake."

Within minutes, his room was filled to capacity with a couple of nurses and a few doctors. They were checking his vitals, bandages and answering some of his questions about what had happened. After what felt like an eternity there was only one doctor left and his presence gave Jake pause. "Mr. Jagielski? I'm Doctor. Sloan and there's something I need to discuss with you." The doctor steals a quick glance at Peyton. "Is this your wife? I've seen here everyday since you've been here."

Peyton looks embarrassed at the doctor's admission while Jake looks shocked. _Everyday? Then what the hell was she talking about shifts for?_ "No, she's not but can this wait until my parents get here? They're on their way." The doctor tells him that's fine and to have him paged when they arrive. He excuses himself leaving the broken lovers alone once more. The silence is unbearable so Peyton heads back to the chair and grabs her bag.

"I'm going to go. Your mom and dad should be here soon. Bye Jake." She heads to the door and stops, turning to look at him once more. "We have to talk. Things that have to be said but you need your rest. If you want, I'll bring Jenny by tomorrow."

He swallows the lump that formed in his throat. "Um, yeah. Thanks." He sees the heartbreak in her eyes and he feels the same hurt in his own heart. "Peyton? I thought you said you were taking shifts."

She blushes and he smiles at the rosy hue that covers her skin. "Well, we do but um…" She releases a strained laugh. "I pretty much join whoever's here. I couldn't stand to be away from you." She smiles shyly at him and opens the door, practically running for the elevator. She pushes the button and leans against the wall as it makes it descent. The doors open to show her Jake's parents coming in through the front doors of the hospital. "Mr. and Mrs. Jagielski." She rushed into their open arms as the older woman shed the tears she knew her son wouldn't want to see.

"How's my boy? Oh God, I'm so happy he finally opened his eyes. And how did he take the news of the baby?" Mrs. Jagielski narrows her eyes at Peyton's fidgetiness. "Child, did you not tell him? Why the hell not?"

"He's angry with me. He just woke up and we have a lot to talk about. I didn't just want to drop that bomb on him too. I will tell. I told him I would bring Jenny by tomorrow. After I drop her back off at Hale's place, I'll come back and I'll tell. Believe me; I won't hide this from him. He's waiting for you guys and there's a doctor who wants to tell him something but he wanted to wait til you guys got here. So hurry up and see your son. I'll be back tomorrow."

His father's voice sounds tense when he speaks, "Talk to him about what?" Peyton shrugs. His father feels a nervousness course through his blood and takes his wife's hand and leads them to the elevator and to their boy.


	22. A Swift Kick in the

_**I really do apologize for taking so long but I lost interest. But you loyal readers deserve a happy ending. So here goes...**_

_Peyton's wearing a white summer dress. You know the kind that are gauzy and flirty? We're on the beach, laughing and playing. She holds her hand out to me and I just drag her back to tumble onto the blanket I laid out on. I push her ringlets behind her ears as I bring my mouth to hers. She tastes like the ocean and, more importantly, like home. Then someone jumps on top of us, squeezing the breath out of us both. Then another little body joins._

_"Mommy! Daddy! Ewww, don't look Tommy. They're kissing and it's gross!" I watch in amazement as Jenny speaks. Only it's not my Jenny. She's a little older, maybe by 2 years. Then my attention is riveted on Tommy._

_"Yucky Mommy. Yucky Daddy." His little arms flail about as he tries to separate Peyton and I. His hair is tousled like mine but he has her eyes. Oh my God, he's ours. I watch as Peyton ruffles his hair. Jenny kisses his cheek and then Peyton's. This is it. This is our family. We watch as the sun sets and then the sky turns black. Tommy's screaming as Jenny hold__s__ him close. Then Peyton gets up, fighting me off as I try to keep her with us. She starts to walk away towards a silhouette in the distance. Then I know it's him. It's fucking Lucas. She's leaving us. She's leaving me again for him. She chooses him like always._

I sit up in my hospital bed, sweating. "No. No..." I run my fingers through my hair as my mother stands next to me trying to calm me down.

"Jake, honey, baby, it was just a dream. You're safe." I look at her and shake my head.

"She went back to him." At her look of confusion, I speak softly, "She went back to Lucas. But we were so happy. A family and she still went back."

She pours me a glass of ice water which I greedily sip. Then I hand it back to her and she grabs a washcloth to wipe at my sweaty brow. "It was a dream, Jake."

I shake my head. "I can't go through that again. It hurts...fuck Ma, oww!" She swats my head with the washcloth. She does it again and again until I'm tempted to press the call button for a nurse.

She finally stops and places her hands on her hips. She's seriously PO-ed and I'm kind of scared. "You silly, silly, stupid man. She's not going back to him any sooner than I'm going to drop these stubborn 20 lbs by tomorrow, She loves you. She wants you. Yet, you feel the need to make her suffer for trying to be a good friend to a very confused young man. You've been in this hospital room for almost two weeks. That hasn't been enough time for you to see reason?"

I scoff at her, "At his wedding Ma. At his fu...fudging wedding where he was called out by his bride for still being in love with Peyton. Where we found out his new book is still about Peyton. What the hell do you want from me? I can't go through this pain again. Jenny can't either. It's not fair." Tears make her blur in front of me.

I hear her huff her annoyance. She hands, well, shoves the tissue box at me. I wipe my face slowly giving myself time to get my shit under control. I look at my mom and see that she's not quite done. She takes in deep breath before speaking, "When she went to Savannah for you, I was thrilled. You sounded so happy when you called me letting me know she was flying to see you. I won't lie Jake, the sound of sheer happiness in your voice brought me a sense of peace. Then you let her go. Now, you hush. You let her go and it was the right thing to do." She twists the yarn in her hands. She puts it all aside to take one of my hands in hers. "Then you just seemed to give up. Sure, you had Jenny and the furniture business to occupy your time but you were half alive. Then the things that happened to that poor girl, especially the last with that insane boy who tried to hurt her. Almost did. I was there in your home Jake."

I nod, barley able to speak. "I know Ma."

She squeezes my hand. "Lucas was kind to call you. That type of news wasn't meant for an email. I saw you break down and my heart broke for you, son. Broke in so many pieces but you stubborn mule, you refused to go to see her. Refused to even call or write or send her one of those text messages the youth deems more worthy that the sound of one's voice. I knew that the more I pushed, the more you would dig in your heels. So I let it go. I prayed that you would come to your senses but, my dear, dear boy, you pussied out."

I think I choke because she's by my side rubbing my back. "Ma!"

She rolls her eyes, "Don't you 'Ma' me. It's the truth and you know it. You were so afraid of what? I don't know."

I sigh, "Afraid that me being there could make it worse. I mean, would she want her ex-fiancé of one night there? Would I just make things worse? Plus, from Lucas' voice and the phone call I made to Haley, I knew she and him were getting close. Tight again. I just..." My voice trails off and I catch the look of knowing in her eyes. I let out a breath. "I pussied out."

She nods as she lowers her head to press a kiss to my forehead. She moves back to her seat looking at me pensively, "And you're doing it again. So afraid of heartbreak that you don't even realize you're doing it to yourself. She's here every single day. No matter how rude you are to her, she's here. She's with Jenny every minute she's not here. Takes the girl to her office. Even had her record a 'demo' to bring by for you." I laugh. Peyton had played it for me a couple of days ago. Jenny singing _My Girl_. It was the first time Peyton and I shared a genuine laugh since the accident. I shake that memory from my head. It doesn't get unnoticed by my mother who continues, "She loves that girl, maybe more than she loves you. But you two are her family. You're the only one getting in the way of yourself."

Before she can continue with her tirade, there's a knock at my door. I am grateful until I see who it is. Lucas. My mother greets him as she allows him into the room. The tension is palpable. My mother sighs once more. She looks at Lucas, "Well, I'll let you two have a moment. Maybe you can knock some sense into his thick skull."

Lucas sits in the chair my mother just vacated. We just look at each other until he speaks, "She loves you. You have to know that. It's you man."

I bite my lip, wishing I wasn't stuck in this goddamn bed to have this talk. I steady my voice, "I know she loves me." I am looking at some random point on the wall. I turn to look him in the eye. "I'm just not sure that she loves me more than she does you. I'm not sure that I'm enough. I don't want what happened at your wedding to happen to me when she realizes I'm just a stand in for you."

Out of all the reactions I thought I'd get, laughter isn't one of them. But that's what he's doing. A full on laughing jag that pisses me off. Lucas seems to realize that I'm fuming. He holds his hands up in an offering of peace. "Sorry, sorry man. It's just we both love her so much that we don't seem to have a freaking clue about her. You know when you ran out, I thought I had her. I thought that it was going to be happily ever after with us riding off on a rainbow." He runs his hands over his shorn locks. "I was wrong. So fucking wrong. She slapped me." My eyes widen at that tidbit. "Pretty much told me just because I fucked up didn't mean she was willing to do that with you. Told me that you and Jenny are her light. Her comet. I think she's right. I'm holding onto what we were. Holding onto who she was because I broke her man. I broke her in that hotel room when I just left the morning after she told me 'not now'. It wasn't a no. I see that now but in my selfishness and to lay claim on her, I fucked up. So who she is today? That's not my Peyton. She's not mine to love. I get that."

I'm pretty much exhausted now. What Lucas just told me has hope seeping through my veins. God, my mother's right. Fuck, I'm such a dickwad. I look at him and by his smile, he can see the light bulb going off on top of my head. I hold out my hand, "Thanks man."

He takes it and pulls me into a one armed hug. I hug him back because when I was too busy being a martyr, he was there for my girl. He releases me and moves to leave. He's at the door, pausing to look back at me. "I wish the two, wait, the three of you the very best. I'm out of here for a while. Going to Europe with my mom to get my head on straight."

I nod. "Good luck with that man." He just gives me a curt nod and leaves. My mother comes back into the room a few minutes later. She's practically bouncing around. "What's good Ma?"

She squeals, "You can be discharged in a couple of days." She comes by my bedside and palms my cheek. "You're coming home baby."

I nod. "Just for a bit Ma. I really want to get settled into our new place." She shushed me but I go on. "Ma?"

She's busy fussing about, tidying up. "Hmm?"

I finally let go. The pressure that's been weighing down my chest for the past few years is finally gone. Even when Peyton and I got back together, there were always they feelings of me fearing I wasn't enough. With letting go, I realize I'm finally ready to be the man she needs. "Ma, I need your help to get Peyton to marry me." Her screams of happiness lets me know she's more than willing.

_**The next chapter will be the end. I would like to take the time to thank you all for sticking with me. Jeyton will have their happy ending. **_


End file.
